What motivated you to write a book in the first place?
Well, I started my Tumblr blog when I was 16 basically because my friends were getting annoyed with me for constantly calling them about my emotions. They were being like, "Abby, you gotta stop." One of my friends told me that I had to write it down and stop being so stressed. So, I started a Tumblr blog and after a couple of days of posting blogs, people were messaging me and being like, "Wow, I’m going through the exact same thing right now with a guy," and it made me feel like, "Oh wow, I’m not insane, friends." And it was great and I just kept writing. And about a year ago, I got a call from a book agent asking if I wanted to write a book. And I was like, "I’d love to, but I have no idea what I would ever write about." She said to write like my blog. And now I have a book out which is just the most random thing in the world to me.
And how long were you working the book?
It took about a year from start to finish. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I also procrastinate so heavily. I’m like, I’m gonna go write at this coffee shop for a bit! And then I go and I’m like, Hmm, that guy is so cute, and then I try and talk to him and then I make a fool of myself and I have to leave! So, I just don’t get it done.
So, what’s the worst social-media site for dating, do you think?
I think Tinder is weird. I mean I just think that is so weird. Nobody knows this—I got it for a half-hour. And it was sad for me because I don’t know what I was thinking and what was going on in my head. I was mad at a guy and I was like, "I’m getting Tinder!" And I got it, and I matched with a couple of guys. And then one guy like asked me out and for some reason I was like, "Yeah, let’s do it!" And then I realized—I got really paranoid—that I don’t know who that person is, and, Why would he ask me out right away? What is this? This is scary! So, I deleted the whole app. This guy was thinking I was going to meet up at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday and I never did, and I feel bad about that.
That’s hilarious. Tinder dates are always really weird.
My friend like only exclusively dates Tinder guys, and then she calls me like two weeks into it and she’s like, "I love him! The best I’ve ever met!" Then she calls me up and she’s like, "You'll never believe it! Adam, from Tinder, has a baby!" And I’m like, "Wow, that’s horrible I’m really sorry." And she’s like, "You know, I really thought that he was the one." And then two weeks later she’s like, "Jake, from Tinder? He’s going to war!" So, that’s why I’m a little bit hesitant of Tinder now. Like, maybe you need to meet people outside of Tinder—for a day.
What’s a good rule for text ratio? I’m not a big believer in the “don’t double text.”
I don’t mind. I love getting eight texts immediately because I just send what I’m sending, like ahahahah, emoji, emoji, in different messages. If it’s one message in multiple texts—that’s okay. But if you send like a huge paragraph, I think that’s a lot more intense. And you look at it and it’s overwhelming! It’s like, "Oh my god, I have to read this now." I’m a big triple texter; I send like a billion things and a ton of emojis.
Let's say you text someone and they don't text you back, so you text them again, or you get multiple texts over a long period of time without a response...
No, no. You gotta stop texting him. I’ve had this problem so many times where I like text and then like an hour later I’m like, "Hey, I’m really sorry if that was weird," even if it was just like "Hey, what’s up?" But then I’m like, "I’m sorry if that was too intense like I don’t want you to feel obligated like you have to talk to me. I just like talking to you and...but please don’t feel like you have to text me. I don’t want to annoy you." And then they’re usually weirded out as hell, and they’re like, "Umm okay she’s a stage-five clinger," and then they send something back like, "Oh no, I’m sorry I was working." And then they’re working all the damn time. And then you’ve just ruined everything.
That’s why I just hate dating in so many ways, because it’s all about the anxiety if he’s going to text me. Because if you text him first, you just feel like you’re annoying him and he’s only texting you because you text him. I don’t understand why guys just can’t, like, text you all the time and tell you that they love you. What’s so hard? I’m constantly saying to everyone I like, "Why are you not obsessed with me yet? I just wanna know, what did I do wrong?" They’re like, "We met last night." Like, "I know! It’s been ample time! I feel really close to you!"
You probably both Googled each other already.
How’s Sadie your sister? And he’s like, "Whoa. Okay." I one time made the huge mistake of friending this guy's mom on Facebook. I don’t know what was going on in my head. But I was like, "Oh your mom’s so sweet! I’m gonna friend her." I look back on it because I’m still friends with her on Facebook, and not him. I don’t even know her name—it’s like Jan or something.
Sweater by Vince.