Are These The Most Horrifying Holiday Stories, Or What?

honestly, who throws a blender?

illustrations by liz riccardi

No holiday season is perfect. Hollywood lies to us and we’re pretty much S.O.L. when it comes to having a white Christmas this year. (Thanks, global warming!) But as we all know, the amount of snow does not directly relate to how much fun we have during this season of giving. It’s about those tried and true traditions of family, friends, a few drinks, and all the bickering that comes along with it. Consider yourself lucky if you’ve never had a nightmarish holiday. The following collection of real-life scenarios make Home Alone look like a joyride. (Wasn’t it, though?) From blender throwing to the accidental outing of a gay nephew, these are the stories Hollywood should be picking up and devoting some time to. A dark humor holiday movie goes a long way, after all. Ho ho ho, or something like that!