Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are the official stars of Zoolander 2, but everyone knows the real star of the upcoming comedy is going to be Kristen Wiig. That's because a) Kristen Wiig is the star of everything she's in, and b) Wiig is playing a Donatella Versace riff named Alexanya Atoz that has scene-stealer written all over her frozen face. And how does she get that immobile look? Based on this new commerical, it's something called Youth Milk, a magical lotion created inside a laboratory by many...cooks. "Youth Milk absorbs into the skin, like water into a sponge," Atoz tells us in her already legendary accent. Ingredients include "hyrdating chemicals from desert flower cactus" and "distilled water from natural street puddles in Indonesia." Because when you look old, you feel sad. Someone get Alexanya Atoz her own movie.