Brace Yourself: Pizza ATMs Are Coming
The future is tasty
Illustration by Liz Riccardi
French company Paline has developed an automated pizza machine. You don't need a passport to get a slice, though. Paline is said to be shipping out its pizza ATM—APM?—to locations across the country and Canada. Queue Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's iconic ode to the saucy circle of cheese and heaven.
Currently, Xavier University in Cincinnati, Ohio, is the only place you can experience the pizza vending machine. WCPO in Cincinnati reports that 20 colleges and business across the nation and Canada are vying for one too. New year, new woohoo; Pizza ATM's product representative Alec Verlin says new shipments will likely go out as early as this month. (He's keeping mum on whos and wheres.) Regardless, turn up!
The Pizza ATM is basically an adult's Easy-Bake Oven. (Note: it's chill if you use an Easy-Bake Oven as an adult. Live your Martha Stewart-meets-Lisa Frank fantasy.) It stores around 70 premade parbaked vegan doughs that have been allowed to rise for two days and stretched into 12-inch round crusts in a refrigerator. Those demanding the universe to "Gimme pizza!" place orders via touchscreen, which offers eight different toppings, including meat. The pizza is then placed in a convection oven, baked, placed in a pizza box, and pushed out through the slot like the Benjamins you take out every Friday night. The whole process takes about three minutes, which is how long the aforementioned Mary-Kate and Ashley song is. Coincidence? I think not.