How Not To Be An Asshole On St. Patrick's Day

take it from the bartender

illustrated by Ricky Michiels

Every March, it comes around, and every March, bartenders everywhere are afraid. Yes, St. Paddy’s Day, whether we actually regard this day as an actual holiday or not, is the national day to get wasted (well, except for NYE and Halloween). And, as someone who has spent 10-plus years behind the bar, I can attest: the people don't hold back. Throwing back pint after pint followed by shot after shot in the name of a heritage that is not yours is, well, an American pastime that I, as a bartender, try my damnedest not to loathe. Am I right or wrong? Doesn't matter, this is just one drink slinger's opinion on how to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in the most considerate way possible... and without annoying your fellow revelers.