People Love Sweaters So Much They're Putting Them On Their Nails

okay, then

Photo via @krakoviak_ Instagram

It's half past eight on a Sunday night and you're curled up by the fireplace. You're wrapped in a large woolen blanket and halfway through Rachel B. Glaser's Pauline & Fran. You take a deep breath and bring a cup of hot chamomile tea to your lips. You feel at peace and warm and snuggly, aside from your extremities. If only there was a way to read and keep your hands wrapped up. Suddenly, you remember an article you read on Mashable earlier in the week. Sweater nail art is trending, you say. Yes, you've been trying to stay away from Instagram-born beauty trends ever since last week's unfortunate glitter-induced manic break. But this one seems harmless, you think. And so very heartwarming

You run out into the snow-filled streets, straight to your nail technician. She gives you a look and motions for you to sit down. You don't say anything. She knows. She pulls out her gel manicure kit and gets to work, using a dotting tool to create the textured look of your dizziest daydreams. After opening yourself up to a substantial amount of UV radiation, you're ready to go back out into the snow. As you walk in the middle of road, you look down. You forgot to put on shoes before you left, but it's okay: You have your shellac nail art to keep you warm, and an intense need to knit.