The One & Only Dr. Steve Brule Answers Your Questions

by Dan Frazier

After hosting three awkward seasons of Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule, television’s most bizarre investigative reporter, Steve Brule, recently released an unaired sitcom pilot entitled Bagboy. Originally shot (and shelved) before the dubious doctor created his own infamous spin-off from Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, the pilot features Brule in his acting debut (and finale) as a bagger at the subpar supermarket Myer’s Super Foods. John C. Reilly, Tim Heidecker, and Eric Wareheim initially served as the show’s executive producers and were pivotal to its resurrection as a special on Adult Swim. When asked about his desire to create a second episode, Brule replies, “I hope and pray that their [sic] will. Do you hope and pray? You should. Gord is listening. Right now. Told you...” And with regard to another season of Check It Out!, Brule claims that he and his trusty cameraman Denny are currently “trying to get enough tapes of everything that is important for the viewers,” including “candy,” “time,” and “egg rolls.” But for now, the oft-blundering anchorman gives us the reasoning behind his sartorial signatures and advice on how to identify a hunk as opposed to a dingus. By Dan Frazier.

Hi Steve,

Besides your signature green suit, what else is in your closet?

- Charles, Moultrie, GA

Dr. Brule: I keep my closet stacked full of sale cans from Myer’s Super Foods. Try the cream chip beef, boy, you will like it.

Steve!

How do you tease your hair like that? Any product?

- Matt, Eugene, OR

Dr. Brule: It’s not nice to tease, boy, name of Matt. When people come in your house, do they wipe their dang feet on you? See? Told you…

Dr. Brule,

Where do you find all your rad ties?

- Derek, Youngstown, OH

Dr. Brule: I only have one of ties. My mommy gave it to me when she kicked me out of the dang house when I was a boy.

Yo Steve,

You always rock the same glasses. ever thought about picking up some new frames?

- Marcus, Los angeles, CA

Dr. Brule: If it ain’t broke, don’t buy any wooden nickels you dingus. Save your money, especially the paper.

Is your American flag pin your favorite accessory?

- Blake, Denver, CO

Dr. Brule: Aye, aye, Captain Blake! I’m giving a big kiss to the stars and stripes and stars.

Hey Dr. Brule,

Why briefs over boxers?

- Tim, Nashville, TN

Dr. Brule: Keeps my berries from dangling around. Them plums hurt when you squash them.

Dr. Steve,

Does your (imaginary) older brother Stan always look cooler than you?

- Ian, Orlando, FL

Dr. Brule: What are you some kind of Florida hunk? Stan is cooler than you, turkey.

Dear Dr. Stephen Brule,

As a vino lover, how doyou get rid of wine stains?

- Cole, Chicago, IL

Dr. Brule: Hey Cole, don’t worry about it. Just enjoy your life and wine. I am going to call you Slaw, boy! Gonna eat you up!

Hey Steve,

Out of everyone you’ve interviewed, who’s had the freshest style?

- Brian, Baton Rouge, LA

Dr. Brule: DelGrango’s Seafood had the best dang crabs and shrimps I ever did eat.

Who is more kempt: Jan or Wayne Skylar?

- Alan, Dallas, TX

Dr. Brule: Both of them are very krempt. Mind your own beeswax.

Can you spot a hunk or a dingus by the way they dress?

- Jacob, Durham, NC

Dr. Brule: No. You can tell by the trash that comes out of their mouth hole, Jacob!