Lionel Messi is not a human being.
We know this, because human beings are ordinary. But as you'll see in the following footage, the Argentinian soccer giant is anything but. The backstory behind the video is a mystery. All we know is that here is Messi on a typically surreal Japanese TV show, showing off his freakish ability to kick a soccer ball over a bar 60 feet in the year, chase it to the other side, and control it as it touches down. And it's all soundtracked to Les Zeppelin's "Kashmir." The whole thing is as bizarre as it is mesmerizing.