Toker’s Take: 15 Cute Things To Sate The Stoner In Your Life
Cannabis is enjoying some mainstream popularity, which, honestly, is a good thing when it comes to shopping. When you wanna buy something to help you get lifted, there are way more options than the seedy head shops of yesteryear (for those residing in or visiting Austin soon, make a point to visit the brick-and-mortar antithesis to this at Catchtilly).
Now that there are tons of highly aesthetically pleasing options available, we rounded up some of the best of what's out there to help you with all your 4/20 prep.
Humble Pride Glass, Peach Glass Pipe, $33, available at Etsy.
Sure, YES, this looks like the cutest little butt emoji, but, also, it rips. This is a perfect at-home bowl to stash by your bed to help battle insomnia and, you know, just to puff on while watching Queer Eye and downing takeout in bed... guys, I know this isn’t just me.
Hemper, Glassentials monthly subscription service, $29.99, available at Hemper.
Hemper hooks it up with sleek, UX-friendly glass bongs each month as part of its subscription service. In addition to glassware, the company pads out the package with rolling papers and cleaning supplies (including odor eliminators, hell yeah). Each month it’s a new surprise—one you can smoke.
Yew Yew, Blush Half Circle Pipe, $68, available at Yew Yew.
Excuse me, this is art. Art that comes with a lighter and suede pipe pouch.
Concrete Cat, Oracle Pipe, $65, available at Tetra.
When you get it handmade, you know it’s unique. Concrete Cat dyes chunks of concrete for three distinct tie-dyed effects. The concrete means it's a good weight in your hand (so there's less likelihood of dropping it); the beeswax polish, though, is really what makes it shine.
Van der Pop, Pop Sticks, $9, available at Van der Pop.
Something about the ability to roll joints seems specifically badass, yet… inaccessible? Or, rather, if you don’t feel like learning, but do feel like lighting up in style, here’s your move. Van der Pop does all the work for you; just grind your goods, stuff, then smoke up. Speaking of grinders…
Penelope Gazin, Doomed Lovers Weed Grinder, $20, available at Witchsy.
Tearing apart chunks of bud with your fingernails is for suckers (or me a couple years ago before I learned better). Get something to get the job done that you also wouldn’t be embarrassed to be caught with on your coffee table. Penelope Gazin nails surreal beauty with a touch of zombie stoner with this killer design.
Drift Sublingual, price varies, available at Mirth Provisions.
Okay, so, I won’t say this mouth spray made me finally enjoy the gym, but I have started spritzing a couple gos before jumping on the treadmill as of late, and it’s a game changer. For an extremely easy, manageable high, this is great to keep handy in your purse. And if you’re feeling adventurous (this may or may not be autobiographical), a few sprays of Wind River Mint before a last-minute first date may be just the ticket to getting comfy sans booze.
Kush Queen, Ignite CBD lube, $49.99, available at Kush Queen.
Not only does weed help alleviate period cramps, it, uh, makes sex a lot more fun. It helps get you going loosey-goosey for some romping, but the CBD, especially, helps manage anxiety without getting too heady (THC, which isn’t in this component, is the cannabinoid in cannabis responsible for feeling paranoid).
Ardent, Nova Decarboxylator, $210, available at Ardent.
If you wanna try your hand at DIY edibles or medicated body products, look no further. The Nova unlocks the herb’s medical properties in a set-it-and-forget-it way—plus, ensconced in deep purple and looking about as threatening as a coffee grinder, it can sit on your kitchen counter totally unnoticed. Use the machine to measure out specific dosages (no more freak-out brownies from your dorm days), let it cook, then harvest the cannabis and mix into whatever recipe, like this bacon-mango pizza, you’re after.
Austin and Kat, Dog CBD Biscuits, $39.95, available at Austin and Kat.
Honestly, I feed my dog much better than I feed myself—namely, these medicated peanut butter-and-apple treats, which are healthy but also super-calming (she, like her human mother, suffers pretty consistent anxiety). I can’t speak to the actual flavor since I have not personally tried these, but she and my friends’ dogs seem to dig it. And I know I definitely dig when she doesn’t go apeshit every week during trash and recycling pickup.
Blunted Objects, Best Blazed Bitches Keychain in Gold, $25 available at Blunted Objects.
For your best bud with whom you share the best bud. It’s the grown-up, green way to show BFFship off.
The Stoner Babes, coloring book, $14.95, available for pre-order at Barnes & Noble.
Though not available until September, go ahead and order this dude for continued 4/20 vibes this fall. Remember, coloring is a supreme stoned activity and these outlines—depicting all genders, shapes, ages, etc.—getting high are perfect for just that.
Sugar Doilies, Thanks For Smoking Me Out Letterpress Greeting Card, $5, available at Etsy.
Everyone likes snail mail. This is a cute little note to send a pal who last rolled a jay for you both to share.
Made in Chynna, 420 Mary Jane Cloisonne Pin, $12, available at Etsy.
A subtle wink to other pot-doers that looks super-cute on a denim vest, canvas tote, or whatever, TBH. The cheerful design lends a pop of color to whatever outfit without being overtly “SUP I AM A STONER” about the whole thing.
P.F. Candle Co., No. 31: Cannabis, $32, available at P.F. Candle Co.
This soy blend candle has got major burning power, a subtle herbal scent, and is ideal for sparking in a shared space. Plus, the screwtop means it’s easy to travel with (I’m looking at you, mysterious-smelling Airbnbs).