Brad Pitt Is A Weatherman Now
Impending flash flooding in the South
Hello, fellow youths! It is May and that means it is warm. What better way to ring in spring than with your friendly-but-dour neighborhood weatherman, Brad Pitt. Yes, the William Bradley Pitt. You may know him from Mr. And Mrs. Smith, Fight Club, the saga of Brangelina and Team Jennifer, or his recent fan moment with Frank Ocean. Those on Comedy Central know him as the fired weatherman from The Jim Jefferies Show. Now, though, he's back on The Jim Jefferies Show, delivering bleak forecasts and even bleaker jokes.
The good news? We've got sunshine all over Mother Earth.
The bad news? The ice caps are melting, which makes Pitt "so, so, so, so scared." Tell that to the current administration, Mister Weatherman!
Pitt's first foray into the forecast business didn't land many laughs, but that's not stopping him from picking on LeBron James this time around. "I was hanging out with LeBron James, and he said, ‘How’s the weather down there?’ Because he’s tall," he says. "And I said, ‘The same as it is up there—changing at a pace not before seen in the history of man. Your legacy is pointless. Our people and our memories will all burn.'"
Oh, our what? Our memories will burn along with our people? Yikes. Someone's clearly seen Avengers: Infinity War. Suddenly, like Peter Parker, I don't feel so good. So much for that sunny weather, Weatherman Pitt.