Elaine Benes Fashion
Did you once break up with a guy over an exclamation point? Will you do anything to get your favorite Chinese restaurant to deliver to your apartment? Do you scream, "Get out!" when something good happens? If you answered yes, then--congrats!--you are Elaine Benes.
Aside from a dry wit, some epic eye rolls, and a great Australian accent ("Maybe the dingo ate your baby?"), as Elaine Benes the other thing you have mastered is the art of fall fashion. Some may call it a borrowed-from-the-boys look, others may say it's standard '90s babysitter fare, but I call it truly, madly, deeply genius style, and here's why: it's comfortable, casual, and versatile. Whether you've layered a white tee under a floral overall dress (worn with white socks and loafers, obvs) or are office-appropriate in a burgundy suit, you're ready to go on a with date Keith Hernandez or break out into dance. Your look translates from day to night thanks to your tortoiseshell hair clip that cleavage exposing black dress you've got in the back of your closet. Just don't pair that with your urban sombrero... That's a bad scene.
As your biggest fan, I picked out some new pieces you're going to need to make the fall of 2013 to still feel like the fall of 1993. Just remember the key to pulling off your Elaine Benes look is having as little grace as possible. And, of course, the little kicks.
Here's what you need if...
You are taking the subway to a friend's wedding: Bass Weejuns in Two-Tone -- $108
You're going to catch a weekend screening of Sack Lunch: Band of Gypsies Button Up Dress -- $59
You've just been promoted to president of the J. Peterman catalogue: Mango Boyfriend Suit Blazer -- $89.90
Mr. Peterman sends you to the desert in Tunisia: Ray Ban Green Round Sunglasses -- $227.83
You need a new blouse for your Christmas card picture: Ralph Lauren Oxford Shirt -- $93.42
You're trying to do your hair fancy at the gym to impress John Junior: France Luxe Rectangle Jaw Clip -- $35
You need to buy some new socks for Mr. Pitt: Topshop White Ankle Socks -- $8
You need a semi-fancy shoe to wear to a job interview at Doubleday with Ms. Landis: Opening Ceremony Grunge Oxford -- $390
You need a winter coat to wear to a hockey game with Puddy: Zara Double Breasted Wool Coat -- $119
You're trying to prove you have cleavage too: Dolce & Gabbana Evening Dress -- $1,350
You want to watch yourself on TV: Seinfeld Seasons One and Two on DVD -- $17.81
You need shoes you can dance in: Aquarelle Slip Ons -- $141
You're going to get some "fat free" frozen yoghurt with Jerry, George, and Kramer: Kimchi Blue Overall Skirt -- $59