15 Totally Rad Muslim Celebrities That Are Frightening Donald Trump

    he’s very, very frightened, you guys.

    by · December 08, 2015

    Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    Donald Trump is very, very scared of Muslims. And, not just the radical, militant, and dangerous kind—a group that represents less than one percent of the total 1.6 billion people associated with the religion worldwide. No, Donald Trump is afraid of all Muslims. Why else would he call for a blanket ban on any of them entering the U.S. for immigration or tourism purposes? We mean, it’s not like he’s down in the polls and just needs to say something to get attention, right?

    Now, because he’s afraid of all Muslims, there are, naturally, some celebrities he’d probably want to avoid or have blocked from our country altogether. So, as a service to him, we’ve collected some of the most talented famous people you know and love who just so happen to also be Muslims. Because, Mr. Trump, Muslims are everywhere. They are in our magazines, reading our pages. They are in our TVs, acting in our shows. They are even on our websites, doing our Internets. It’s a good thing we’re pointing them out to Donald Trump because, really, they just look, act, and perform just like, well, everyone else. Be afraid, Donald. Be very afraid.

    Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    Zayn Malik, formerly of One Direction, is not only a talented performer and a total dreamboat, he was also raised a Muslim, so he’d probably scare the snot out of Donald Trump. It’s a good thing he’s British, because that would give Trump the opportunity to keep him out of country.

    Photo by Tristan Fewings / Stringer/Getty Images

    It’s probaby unlikely that Donald Trump knows who Rita Ora is or how she got famous in the first place (the may not have seen Fast and Furious). But all that’s irrelevant to Donald Trump because she’s totally a Muslim—context not required here. Man, Donald Trump just can’t get those walls up fast enough for Donald Trump.

    Photo via @gigihadid Instagram

    Now, we don’t know if Gigi Hadid is Muslim, but her dad is. Even scarier for Donald Trump is that Mohamed Hadid—who despite being an agnostic who graduated from the London School of Economics and campaigns for democratic rights—is a foreigner who spends time in America. Shocking.

    Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

    Even Donald Trump would probably admit that Dave Chappelle is a funny, funny guy. But you know what he wouldn’t find funny? The fact that he converted to Islam.

    Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    It’s been a very big year for hip-hop star and Muslim, Lupe Fiasco. Too big, if you ask Donald Trump. People who rap and pray to Allah are on his personal “no fly” list.

    Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images

    Q-Tip, formerly of A Tribe Called Quest, is all about peace, love, beats, and Islam. Only one of those things registers to Donald Trump. Guess which one.

    Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

    The beautiful, charitable Iman is not only Muslim and an African, she’s a foreigner living on American soil. Add to that the fact that she also married a foreigner who used to crossdress, and she might be the most frightening person possible to Donald Trump.

    Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

    Like Bat For Lashes? Want to see her the next time she goes on tour? Well, not if Donald Trump has anything to do about it. She’s Muslim and also kind of spooky, two things that send chills up Donald Trump’s spine.

    Photo by Brad Barket / Stringer/Getty Images

    Yuna is a rising indie star from Malaysia with a wonderful voice and powerful songs. Too bad she’s Muslim, because there’s no way Donald Trump will ever be able to enjoy her work.

    Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    Were Are We There Yet and Are We There Yet 2 secretly recruitment propaganda for the Islamic State, thanks to star, rap legend, and Muslim Ice Cube? We may never know, but you can bet Donald Trump will be scared anyways.

    Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

    Trump would certainly find the fact that Janet Jackson converted to Islam horrifying, and not just because she joined the 1,400-year-old faith. No. It’s because she’s able to mobilize a militant group of backup dancers in baseball hats. Puts “Rhythm Nation” in a whole new light…well, for Trump.

    Photo by Eamonn M. McCormack / Stringer/Getty Images

    We all cooed when Amal Alamuddin married George Clooney in a beautiful, private ceremony at the actor’s Lake Como estate. How could we have known then how disturbing the idea of one of America’s most beloved stars marrying a Lebanese Muslim would have been to Donald Trump?

    Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images

    Now, Master of None funnyman Aziz Ansari does not practice the Islam he grew up with. His father, however, is a different story. That’s close enough for horseshoes, and Donald Trump.

    Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    Shaquille O’Neal is Muslim, approximately seven feet tall, and has his own brand of martial arts. He is Donald Trump’s nightmare.

    Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

    T-Pain is Muslim, but the real question is how he does all those funny things with his voice. Is it some kind of Muslim superpower? Donald Trump probably doesn’t know because he’s busy being too scared of him.

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    Last updated: 2015-12-08T17:01:42-05:00
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