game of thrones: big trouble in little winterfell

    game of thrones' power couples, ranked

    by leila brillson · May 18, 2015

    photos via HBO

    This season is about journeys—the journey to battle, the journey to Essos, the journey to retaking the north. Everyone has a destination, and with the land of GoT larger than it has ever been, characters are finding some pretty strange bedfellows. So instead of a traditional recap, we are going to do a ranking of power couples, those duos who are now traversing the realm in pairs. Since it's not just the staggering surprises, but the dynamic dialogue. Each week, we are rank each pair to see who will win—and what crazy depths they'll go to—for the game of thrones.

     Due to some unforeseen circumstances, we missed last week's Thrones, but fortunately like books four and five, they were divided by locale, so we are doing double the recap, double the fun. The first thing we need to talk about is how old Arya is—the show has been pretty chronologically aligned with the books, and the age of Arya pretty closely matches the Arya in the books, and its interesting to see how much she is aging and maturing as an actor. Secondly, her sister is clearly in dire straits. On Twitter, many users have commented about the fact that we have been subjected to seeing Sansa degraded, again and again. The brutal scene that we bore witness (along with Theon) last night spoke to the fact that Sansa is being pushed to her breaking point—and like her sister, will have to take action. 

    Last recap: 5.4 Sons Of The Harpy
    <h2>Petyr Baelish&nbsp;&amp; Sansa Stark</h2><div><a target="_blank" href="http://www.nylon.com/articles/game-of-thrones-season-five-episode-four">Last week: 9</a><br>The Reek reveal...what an interesting twist. Almost as interesting as Ramsay Snow/Bolton thinking of ripping off Reek's hand and thinking better of it. Ramsay is such a dastardly bastard (literally and figuratively) that this is getting more and more interesting. Ramsay is so cruel and twisted, it is impossible to take your eyes off of him—for both fear of Sansa and because&nbsp;Iwan Rheon is owning the crap out of the role. (Also, note: How is Roose letting this happen? Isn't this totally subverting their dynamic?)&nbsp;<br>Who else wanted Reek to stab Ramsay? Who else thinks that is the direction the show is going in?<br>+ 1 Thankfully, Sansa is finally cautious of strangers, as she should be...<br>+ 3 for the only&nbsp;<br>- 2 for Littlefinger's abandonment of Sansa. He did sell her out, but I do believe he is still on Team Sansa, first and foremost. He's just putting some good face time in with Cersei. Right? RIGHT?<br>+ 2 for Sansa's smackdown of Miranda<br>- 5 for the painful rape of Sansa Stark. Book readers, what did you think of this?&nbsp;<br><b>Total: -1</b><br><b>New total: 8</b></div>

    photo via HBO

    Petyr Baelish & Sansa Stark

    Last week: 9
    The Reek reveal...what an interesting twist. Almost as interesting as Ramsay Snow/Bolton thinking of ripping off Reek's hand and thinking better of it. Ramsay is such a dastardly bastard (literally and figuratively) that this is getting more and more interesting. Ramsay is so cruel and twisted, it is impossible to take your eyes off of him—for both fear of Sansa and because Iwan Rheon is owning the crap out of the role. (Also, note: How is Roose letting this happen? Isn't this totally subverting their dynamic?) 
    Who else wanted Reek to stab Ramsay? Who else thinks that is the direction the show is going in?
    + 1 Thankfully, Sansa is finally cautious of strangers, as she should be...
    + 3 for the only 
    - 2 for Littlefinger's abandonment of Sansa. He did sell her out, but I do believe he is still on Team Sansa, first and foremost. He's just putting some good face time in with Cersei. Right? RIGHT?
    + 2 for Sansa's smackdown of Miranda
    - 5 for the painful rape of Sansa Stark. Book readers, what did you think of this? 
    Total: -1
    New total: 8
    <h2>Brienne Of Tarth&nbsp;&amp; Podrick</h2><div><a target="_blank" href="http://www.nylon.com/articles/game-of-thrones-season-five-episode-four">Last week: 9</a><br>While Brienne doesn't have much on-screen time, it is clear that she is here to rescue Sansa, who is actually in dire need of rescuing.<br>+ 2 for Brienne's incredible brood-face<br>+ 4 for Brienne taking a chance on a random innkeeper like a freaking boss<br><b>Total: 6</b><br><b>New total: 15</b></div>

    photo via HBO

    Brienne Of Tarth & Podrick

    Last week: 9
    While Brienne doesn't have much on-screen time, it is clear that she is here to rescue Sansa, who is actually in dire need of rescuing.
    + 2 for Brienne's incredible brood-face
    + 4 for Brienne taking a chance on a random innkeeper like a freaking boss
    Total: 6
    New total: 15
    <h2>Melisandre &amp; Stannis Baratheon</h2><a target="_blank" href="http://www.nylon.com/articles/game-of-thrones-season-five-episode-four">Last week: 12</a><br>The alignment of the warring factions is clearly coming to a head, which means some pretty good action. And that bodes well for us <i>Thrones</i>' fans. I want to point out how dramatically pro-Melisandre I've become, even though she's still totally insane.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<br>+ 1 "Keep reading, Samwell Tarly."<br>- 2 How much of a jerk is Stannis' queen? She is just there to make us all grouchy<br><b>Total: -1</b><br><b>New total: 11</b><br><br><div><br></div>

    photo via HBO

    Melisandre & Stannis Baratheon

    Last week: 12
    The alignment of the warring factions is clearly coming to a head, which means some pretty good action. And that bodes well for us Thrones' fans. I want to point out how dramatically pro-Melisandre I've become, even though she's still totally insane.                    
    + 1 "Keep reading, Samwell Tarly."
    - 2 How much of a jerk is Stannis' queen? She is just there to make us all grouchy
    Total: -1
    New total: 11


    <h2>Jon Snow &amp; Samwell Tarly</h2><a target="_blank" href="http://www.nylon.com/articles/game-of-thrones-season-five-episode-four">Last week: 15</a><br>Oh, look at this foreshadowing: Sam is talking to Gilly about being a maester, and Maester Eamon is dying. Wonder how that is going to pan out? Also, next week seems wildly interesting and troubling for the Night's Watch.&nbsp;<br>+ 3 For finally behaving like a savvy, maybe cutthroat leader, and it is <i>very</i> exciting<br>+ 1 "We can learn to live with the wildlings, or we can add them to the army of the dead." Damn straight.<br>+ 2 Because Kit Harrington's acting lessons may be paying off...?<br>+ 1 New game: Do a shot every time Sam proclaims, "Gilly!"&nbsp;<br><b>Total: 7</b><br><b>New Total: 22</b>

    photo via HBO

    Jon Snow & Samwell Tarly

    Last week: 15
    Oh, look at this foreshadowing: Sam is talking to Gilly about being a maester, and Maester Eamon is dying. Wonder how that is going to pan out? Also, next week seems wildly interesting and troubling for the Night's Watch. 
    + 3 For finally behaving like a savvy, maybe cutthroat leader, and it is very exciting
    + 1 "We can learn to live with the wildlings, or we can add them to the army of the dead." Damn straight.
    + 2 Because Kit Harrington's acting lessons may be paying off...?
    + 1 New game: Do a shot every time Sam proclaims, "Gilly!" 
    Total: 7
    New Total: 22
    <h2><b>jaime lannister&nbsp;and bronn</b></h2><div><a target="_blank" href="http://www.nylon.com/articles/game-of-thrones-season-five-episode-four">Last week: -4</a><br>We were having a conversation during the battle between Jaime and the Sand Snakes, where everyone was trying to figure out who was going to die. I staunchly stuck to, "no one" and here is why: The Sand Snakes aren't fleshed out enough for us to care if they go, and Jaime and Bronn are having too much fun to go. Taking them into custody (um, hello, did no one not think of Aryo standing up there with his ax?) is much more interesting.<br>- 1 "You fight pretty good for a little girl!"<br>- 3 As a book reader, I kind of can't stand the Sand Snakes. I know that is kind of controversial, but I just don't understand their motivation here. This is the Game Of Thrones—people die.&nbsp;<br><b>Total: -4</b><br><b>New total: -8</b></div>

    photo via HBO

    jaime lannister and bronn

    Last week: -4
    We were having a conversation during the battle between Jaime and the Sand Snakes, where everyone was trying to figure out who was going to die. I staunchly stuck to, "no one" and here is why: The Sand Snakes aren't fleshed out enough for us to care if they go, and Jaime and Bronn are having too much fun to go. Taking them into custody (um, hello, did no one not think of Aryo standing up there with his ax?) is much more interesting.
    - 1 "You fight pretty good for a little girl!"
    - 3 As a book reader, I kind of can't stand the Sand Snakes. I know that is kind of controversial, but I just don't understand their motivation here. This is the Game Of Thrones—people die. 
    Total: -4
    New total: -8
    <h2><b>margaery tyrell&nbsp;and tommen baratheon</b></h2>Last week: 4<br>Oh my GODDESS. What a total s**t Tommen is. He literally watched his wife get dragged away by a bunch of crazy religious fanatics and was just like, "Oh, super chill, I'm going to sit here with my mouth half open." What a twerp. What isn't twerpy, however, is seeing the Queen of Thorns back in action, smacking down Cersei like she so deserves.<br><div><b></b>+ 2 for that Queen of Tarts remark.<br>- 10 for letting you stupid wife get stupid arrested<br><b>Total:&nbsp;- 8 </b><br><b>New Total: -4&nbsp;</b><br><br></div>

    margaery tyrell and tommen baratheon

    Last week: 4
    Oh my GODDESS. What a total s**t Tommen is. He literally watched his wife get dragged away by a bunch of crazy religious fanatics and was just like, "Oh, super chill, I'm going to sit here with my mouth half open." What a twerp. What isn't twerpy, however, is seeing the Queen of Thorns back in action, smacking down Cersei like she so deserves.
    + 2 for that Queen of Tarts remark.
    - 10 for letting you stupid wife get stupid arrested
    Total: - 8
    New Total: -4 

    <h2>tyrion lannister and jorah mormont</h2><a target="_blank" href="http://www.nylon.com/articles/game-of-thrones-season-five-episode-four">Total</a><a target="_blank" href="http://www.nylon.com/articles/game-of-thrones-season-five-episode-four">: 10</a><br>Well, looky here: Isn't it our favorite three-hour tour from hell? These two weirdly sensitive souls are pretty entertaining, especially because they are both kind of sad-sacks who have been spending their most recent screen time feeling awfully sorry for themselves. The boys being kidnapped and heading to the fighter's pits makes some sense, but it doesn't seem to make sense. Ah, well.&nbsp;<br>"Long sullen silences and an occasional punch in the face: The Mormont way!"<br>- 1 for the attack from the Stone Men! Always the Stone Men...!<br>- 3 Grey scale is hella contagious, right, Jorah?&nbsp;<br>+ 4 "How will he know unless he sees it comes from a dwarf." "It will be a dwarf-sized cock." "GUESS...AGAIN."<br><b>Total: 0</b><br><b>New total: 10</b><br><br>

    photo via HBO

    tyrion lannister and jorah mormont

    Total: 10
    Well, looky here: Isn't it our favorite three-hour tour from hell? These two weirdly sensitive souls are pretty entertaining, especially because they are both kind of sad-sacks who have been spending their most recent screen time feeling awfully sorry for themselves. The boys being kidnapped and heading to the fighter's pits makes some sense, but it doesn't seem to make sense. Ah, well. 
    "Long sullen silences and an occasional punch in the face: The Mormont way!"
    - 1 for the attack from the Stone Men! Always the Stone Men...!
    - 3 Grey scale is hella contagious, right, Jorah? 
    + 4 "How will he know unless he sees it comes from a dwarf." "It will be a dwarf-sized cock." "GUESS...AGAIN."
    Total: 0
    New total: 10

    Tags: radar, gameofthrones
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