Christmas for Lady Gaga used to consist of cunnilingus as told through Christmas tree metaphors, and being lit up and placed "on top." (Wink! Wink, Little Monsters!) That, however, was 2008 Lady Gaga. 2016 is the year Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta put the Lady in Lady Gaga. Her fifth studio album, Joanne, marked a shift in the pop star's sound with its country-pop-rock fusion and hints of twang. The zany individual who turned street paparazzi shots into editorials grew into a woman who's more sure of herself than ever. That should be enough of a gift for anyone, but desire is one of life's true constants.
What would a Lady who has everything—and the means to certainly buy anything—want? She already owns three pairs Alexander McQueen armadillo heels and a hefty portion of Michael Jackson's fashion archive. She sings of wanting world peace on "Come To Mama," but that isn't really something you can just, like, wrap up and give. (What a nice idea, though.) Perhaps the key to is keeping it simple... in Lady Gaga terms, that is. Here are a few possible ideas. Paws up for Christmas cheer.
Marc Jacobs, Georgia Studded Cowboy Boot, $550.00, available at Marc Jacobs.
Lady Gaga loves Marc Jacobs. Lady Gaga also loves herself some quasi-Western looks and these boots have it all for the upscale New Yorker living their sentient Westworld escape fantasy. Tap down those boots, indeed, girl.
Compendium, Always Find Reasons To Laugh Journal, $14.99, available at Amazon.
Lady Gaga has a million reasons to walk away, sure, but does she have a million reasons to laugh? Perhaps this will help her remember the good times.
John Wayne: Epic Collection, $149.98, available at WBShop.
If Lady Gaga is as in love with John Wayne as her Joanne song suggests, she'll certainly find something to love in this collection. It's epic... literally!
The Skateroom and The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Andy Warhol: Skateboard Colored Campbell's Soup Cans Set Of 8, $1,500, available at MoMA Store.
Since Lady Gaga spends a considerable amount of time now at her California estate, she could (if she hasn't already) make like Cali Cool Girl™ and hang skate decks on her wall. They won't ever get used, but they sure will look cool. Plus, when they're official Andy Warhol Foundation pieces (her favorite), what's not to love?
Winc. subscription, starting at $13/botle, available at Winc.
Call your Grigio Girls, Gaga! Winc. takes into account your taste palate and refines its wine selections based on it. You're about to have the best pinot grigio delivered straight to your door.
Pottery Barn, Faux Fur Robe, $103, available at Pottery Barn.
Because who doesn't want to invite your Grigio Girls over for a night of wine and gossip and lounging in luxurious robes?
Alexander McQueen, Crop Lambskin Leather Jacket, $4,575, available at Nordstrom.
A pale pink leather jacket to go with Lady Gaga's pink Joanne cowboy hat? Say no more.
Devialet, Phantom speaker, $1,990, available at Devialet.
Lady Gaga once told her fans to listen to 2013's "Applause" on nice headphones because it was engineered to get louder as the song progressed. (It's true.) Why not get the nice headphone experience without actually wearing them, huh? The Phantom speaker is the best wireless speaker on the market and beats any expensive piece of personal headphone gear.
Versace by Donatella Versace, $59.37, available at Barnes & Noble.
Lady Gaga and Donatella Versace's relationship is a special one. But if Gaga is going to play the eponymous designer, she better at least have a fancy coffee table book to return to when Donatella herself isn't available to chat.
Decade Of Magic by David Blaine, $4.99, available at David Blaine's Official Store.
It wasn't love, but David Blaine is definitely a perfect illusion.