There comes a moment every holiday season when the clock strikes midnight on the Friday after Thanksgiving and those eight familiar, a capella chimes chime. You know that within a few seconds that sweet, nostalgic "ah ah ah ahhh" will fill your ear space and suddenly, without warning, you have become Christmas, and it is all Mariah Carey's fault. Your life, for the next month and a half, will be occupied with chestnuts roasting on an open fire, stress-induced headaches over ugly sweater parties, and the endless replay of "All I Want For Christmas Is You." There is simply no escaping its innocence and innocuous joy. There is nothing as sweet and as bitter as listening to it for the 100th time. But listening to it now? In March, when there are other pressing matters at hand? Are you out of your mind?
No, because Carey is making "All I Want For Christmas Is You" into an animated movie and she announced it (and not much else, aside from its holiday debut) today, March 21, the second day of spring 2017. Christmas, dear Scrooges, is here in all its Glitter-y glory.