Birthdays can be hard—it’s nearly impossible to have a day that acknowledges and even celebrates the passage of time without indulging in a little bit of self-reflection. So after Selena Gomez turned 24 on Friday, she took to Instagram the next day for a bit of opening up.
“Tonight I felt extremely unauthentic, unconnected to both myself and my music,” she wrote. “I’ve never really felt like my materials, wardrobe or a video could define me. I act on a moment and fear something that hasn’t happened. I’m stagnant, I stay still and don’t just sit with myself first and ask, ‘Is this where I am, whole heartedly?’ I’ve always told the truth. I’m always true to my word, I’ve shown who I am but I need to rethink some areas of my life creatively and personally. Had to get that out.”
In the comments, the singer was quick to note that her feelings didn’t have anything to do with her concert in Jakarta the night before. “Not being negative about anything I’ve done. I’m grateful for every single moment I get here—Indonesia you were LOUD and clearly inspiring. Love you so much.”
Gomez’s feelings are totally valid and justified (it has to be stressful when your every move is broadcast to a global audience after all), and they aren’t altogether out of place. Growing up is tough and it involves a lot of self-questioning—and even pop stars with 91.3 million Instagram followers can be prone to a little self-doubt. It’s what makes us and them human.
While Gomez works out her feelings on authenticity and her creative process, it seems she’s also working on some new projects. Yesterday she also tweeted out an acoustic snippet of “Kill ’Em With Kindness,” featuring slow, melancholy vocals paired with a simple piano accompaniment. It’s a new sound for Gomez, moving away from the R&B style of the track on Revival and into something a little more stripped down and vulnerable. A bit of music-making could very well be what she needs to get out of her funk.
Did this on my birthday... coming soon. Thank you for all the love. I love you guys, God bless pic.twitter.com/4Pb5usx2Pk— Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) July 23, 2016
In any case, the 24-year-old star is continuing on her tour, which ends in December, and in doing so, she’s certainly inspiring her millions of fans. We’re rooting for you, Selena!