We all make choices every day. And in the summertime, when the living is apparently easy, one of the most stressful decisions you’ll have to make is what cocktail to order while basking in the sun’s infinite rays. To make life that teensy bit easier, you choose one cocktail to request from every bartender that you meet. After all, life’s all about indulgence and who would you be without your go-to drink? Ahead, find out exactly what your libation of choice says about you.
What Your Go-To Summer Cocktail Says About You
If you like piña coladas...
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When you were eight years old, you had what some may categorize as an unhealthy obsession with the seminal Mary-Kate and Ashley film Holiday in the Sun. You walked around wearing makeshift shirts made of bandanas and had a recurring dream where you went down a never-ending slide at Atlantis Paradise Island Resort while Weezer’s “Island in the Sun” played on loop. For an entire three months, you refused to drink anything except for virgin daiquiris. And while you felt a bit dehydrated, at least you were coasting by on a constant sugar rush. Besides, fruits are good for you, right?
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You’re always putting others in front of yourself, and would never force anyone—for a tip or otherwise—to muddle, strain, and shake for your sake. And above being kind and courteous to everyone around you, you’re always an optimist. When life gives you lemons, you grab some vodka and make some damn lemonade.
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While the Tom Collins is certainly a simple drink in theory—gin, lemon juice, sugar, and soda water—you’re far too complex to require a simple stir. You devour Haruki Murakami novels over and over again, and you probably overthink everything. But life is in the details, and the bubbles symbolize far more than the untrained eye can see. They are finite, and they are temporary, much like your time here on earth.
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You’re someone who enjoys simple pleasures in life, like a ripe lime and a salted rim. And much like tequila itself, you have a bit of a wild side. In fact, you may just be silently psychotic, especially when you do have some margaritas in you. Your days tend to escalate, and after a culmination of anxiety and frustration, you metaphorically jump up and down, shake it all off, and just let loose.
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Ever since you were young, everyone told you that you could do whatever you want. And you can. You want it all. You want the world. You want fresh muddled mint. You want fresh sugar cane. You want fine white rum. And you know what? You can have it. The world is your oyster, and all of the angry bartenders you leave in your wake can’t hold you down.
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In every group of friends, there’s that one person who is well-liked, but nobody truly knows. That’s you. You’ve never been one to rock the boat. You always have a smile plastered on your face and are always the type who remembers every little detail of everyone you meet. Usually, though, you end up listening to how Randy’s cat is adjusting to his new apartment and how Cindy is thinking about taking the next step in her relationship instead of talking about yourself and how you actually just sold this app you’ve been developing in your spare time to Facebook for $2 billion. But that’s okay. Everything’s okay.
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You’ve never understood the concept of keeping to yourself. Why be absorbed in your own thoughts and musings when you can collaborate with others and share in the collective wealth of community? Never without a drink in hand, you always make sure the party is well-stocked with a bowl of punch. You have a bit of a heavy hand, which serves as a testament to your general grandiose nature.
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It isn’t summer until the first polo match of the season. You count Hemingway as one of your idols, although you never really read any of his books or researched anything about him. People say that he would scoff at you, with a glass filled with immaculate slices of cucumber and orange, but you just laugh along. Of course, Hemingway would love you. Everyone loves you, nearly as much as you love yourself.
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Summer is for Jimmy Buffett and Hawaiian shirts. You live for that feeling when your toes are in the sand, and you escape to the Caribbean at least once a year. And while everyone continues to call you “basic” and roll their eyes every time you order, you always have the last laugh. After all, you came down to the pool to reserve lounge chairs for yourself and your entire family at 6am and now there are none left for any of the haters.