Part of why Gossip Girl is so iconic is because there is so much to hate and to love simultaneously: Jenny’s smoky eye, the way Serena simply discards her cell phone in a public garbage can when confronted with a stressful text, how Nate never says a single interesting thing. The show’s iconic plotlines fall into that love/hate relationship, with some truly unhinged stories throughout its six-season run. Ahead, you’ll find some of our most absurd favorites.
Georgina shows up in the Humphrey loft pregnant and says she’s having Dan’s baby. Dan steps up to the role despite no paternity test and big surprise — the baby ends up not being his! Georgina actually had an affair with a married Russian man, whose wife threatened to have her killed when she found out, but called off the hit after she said Dan was the father. Eventually, she just moves out of the loft and takes the baby with her. And none of this was remotely interesting!
In this iconic ep, Hillary Duff plays a celebrity who goes to NYU. On her last night, she Dan and Vanessa have a bucket list of things every college freshman must do, and the last item is a threesome. Duff finishes her drink and then makes out with Dan and Vanessa to a cover of T.I.’s “Whatever You Like.” Incredible.
Possibly Gossip Girl’s most chaotic character, Ivy Dickens appeared in a whopping 30 episodes. Ivy is an actor hired by Lily’s sister to pretend to be her daughter, then gets the inheritance and then loses it and gets it again? I think? At one point, she asks Dan to call her Serena and it’s revealed she wasn’t taking her medication for bipolar disorder. But the most chaotic thing is that this girl dates Rufus and Serena’s dad!
To get Chuck Bass to open up to anyone is such a superhuman feat that for as bad as he is, it’s a bummer that he can’t even trust his highly-paid therapist! It backfires because when Blair finds out, she says Louis is turning into Chuck. Get this girl some new men!
Serena’s iconic line “I killed someone,” has maybe the worst payoff of any of Gossip Girl line. This is supposed to be the big reveal to why she fled the Upper East Side. Not only did she hook up with Nate while he was with Blair, but she “killed someone!” What really happened is she was passed a guy a line of coke and he promptly overdosed as she called 911. Still dark!
Leave it to the sinister magic of Blair Waldorf to be able to banish two women from ever setting foot in Manhattan again. Blair bans Jenny from New York after she has sex with Chuck, forcing her to move upstate. She comes back in one episode for an interview with Tim Gunn, and Blair agrees to give her a “day pass,” in exchange for her not coming back for the rest of the year. Brutal! And later, Chuck, Blair, Nate and Serena all banish Juliet from Columbia and Manhattan for trying to ruin Serena’s life. Maybe she can flee to Brooklyn?
Okay, they’re not old money rich, but Rufus Humphrey was in the equivalent of maybe Jane’s Addiction and he owns a three-bedroom loft in Dumbo and an art gallery that’s usually empty! This member of Rolling Stone’s Top Forgotten Bands Of The ’90s certainly isn’t slumming it.
In this absolutely bonkers plot, Serena’s dad Munchausens Lily into thinking she has cancer and has been giving Lily the wrong medicine to keep her sick so he can take care of her. The worst part is that they still end up together at the end of the series!
Bart Bass fakes his own death in Season 2 only to reappear in Season 5 and explain that he paid the hospital to announce he was dead so his competitors wouldn’t go after Chuck and Lily. Then in Season 6, he and Chuck have a final Star Wars-esque showdown on the roof of the hotel where Bart slips and is hanging off the edge of the roof and Chuck lets him fall! Dark!
The New York Spectator becomes a major media company (thanks in part to Elizabeth Hurley as the unscrupulous reporter Diana Payne) but still — we’re supposed to believe a newspaper has a private jet in the year 2011, in the post-Recession media era? I don’t think so.