Over the weekend, it was revealed that Chris Rock and Malaak Compton-Rock, his wife of 19 years, were getting a divorce.
It caps a bittersweet year for Rock, whose great new movie Top Five, which he wrote and directed, marked something of a career renaissance for the comedian. To promote the film, Rock embarked on an epic press tour at a time when the country was being torn apart by racial tensions, and reminded everyone what a vital voice of reason he is.
But we can’t say we didn’t see this coming. The odds of making a relationship last ‘til death do you part are microscopic. Add 19 years of wear and tear and a career that takes you away from your family for large chunks of time and it becomes pretty much impossible. And although Rock didn’t hint at any marital troubles during his many recent interviews, he’s made many references to the difficulties of marriage and relationships in his iconic stand-up specials. We combed through his material to find hints that Chris Rock has always thought marriage is a bet you’re most likely to lose. “We can’t have gay marriage ’cause marriage is sacred, it happens in the church. Marriage is sacred, it’s sacred. No, it’s not, not in America, not in a country that watches Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? and The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and Who Wants to Marry a Midget. Get the fuck outta here. Shit, Michael Jackson got married, how fucking sacred is that shit?” “You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.” “Shit, every woman in here got a girlfriend they don’t trust around their man. A good girlfriend too, it’s like, “Yeah, I’ll go shopping with her, but I ain’t gonna leave that bitch alone with my man for five minutes, no.” I remember one time, I was at a restaurant with me, my wife, and her girlfriend. And my wife gets up and goes, “Honey, I’m going to the bathroom.” And I’m like, “All right, honey, I’ll see you when you get back.” And she goes, “No, you coming with me!” She made me come with her to the bathroom! And she did the right thing, ’cause I’d have fucked the girl; I’da fucked her. I’d have fucked her on a damn quesadilla, I didn’t give a fuck.” “See... Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what’s that focus? That focus is all about HER! It’s all about her!” “God will send you a double date with the perfect couple. Have you ever made the mistake of going on a double date with the perfect couple? You’re in the middle of your bullshit relationship and you actually sit down with two people that are actually in love. You can’t even eat your food cause you can’t believe what the fuck you are witnessing. You got a fork in your hand like, “Oh shit! He’s really listening to what she’s got to say! Wow! They really like being around each other! Man, we can’t hang with them no more, they gonna break us up. Can’t let these happy motherfuckers fuck up my life!“br>