On April 13, 2015 a series of photos of Beyoncé went up on Beyoncé’s website. She was at Coachella doing whatever it is Beyoncé does at Coachella. In these photos appeared a Fiji water bottle filled with something that did not appear to be Fiji water.
So, we ask: What fluid did Beyoncé drank? Was it healthy? Did it get her drunk (on love)? And, perhaps more importantly, why is Beyoncé transporting a mysterious liquid in an expensive plastic water bottle like some common flower-crown girl?
Possible theories from NYLON’s staff include:
- The tears of her haters mixed with ginger
- Honey from the Beyhive
- A rare mixture of soil, a single grape, lemon juice, and the residuals of Obsessed mixed together with a diamond-edged Nutribullet by Michelle Williams
- House of Deréon sparkling spring water and rum
- The fountain of youth (a mixture of honey and the sweat of those who refuse to #bowdown)
- The talent and life force from Kelly & Michelle
- A delicate combination of sweet tea, Hennessy, black excellence, and a splash of your fav’s tears
- Contaminated Fiji water
- Rihanna’s ash tray so as to ascend from them; a phoenix rising, Beyoncé is
- All of the anger, hatred, and negativity in the world, taken in through the Bowels Of Knowles, ingested so we, her delicate flock, do not have to suffer anymore
- Or just the cayenne pepper drink she’s been known to ingest once in a while