Caitlyn Jenner ESPYs Arthur Ashe Speech Fears

“i don’t want to hurt anybody. i just want to be myself.”

The most inspirational people are often considered to be some of the most fearless. Getting up on a stage—whether real or figurative—takes a lot of guts. Caitlyn Jenner is no stranger to these accolades. She just won the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, for pete’s sake, and gave one of her most influential speeches to date. She pulled it off with aplomb. Her most recent blog post on WhoSay, however, reveals the anxiety that fueled it.

“As a dyslexic kid,” Jenner writes, “my biggest fear in life was to go in front of the class and read, because I just wasn’t very good at it—and that stays with you through your whole life.” She goes into some detail about improvising parts of the speech and the roller coaster of emotions she felt both on and off stage. But what really sticks out in her post is a piece of advice she’s carried with her: “Success is not measured by heights attained but by obstacles overcome.” Indeed, the fear she must have felt that night is comparable, but one can either let the fear use them or use the fear to better themselves. Jenner went down the latter route and it paid off in spades. She is a true role model for the ages.

We can expect to see more of her courage when I AM CAIT premieres this Sunday at 8 p.m. on E!