It’s perfectly acceptable to harbor a crush on Chvrches singer Lauren Mayberry. What’s not acceptable is expressing those personal, private feelings unbidden to a stranger in a public setting—particularly if she has a microphone and you want to walk away with your self-esteem intact.
A concert-going dude learned this lesson in gentlemanly conduct the hard way late last month during Chvrches’ stand at the Central Park Summer stage. Between songs the unknown man yelled out, “Marry me! Marry me now!” to the Glaswegian singer—a bad idea not only because it’s catcalling, but because Mayberry is a full-on dedicated pro at calling out the worst elements of male behavior.
“Oh, come on,” said Mayberry in front of a crowd of thousands. “What’s the hit rate on that?” She continued, “When you go into public places and ask women you don’t know if they want to wed you...does that work out well for you sir?”
The schooling continued: “I assume because you’re here that you know about our band…I’m very grumpy, and I don’t want that shit.” The crowd applauded. “Thank you very much everybody else,” she said. “And sorry for shaming that one person, but if nobody tells you, you’re never going to know. And, luckily for me, I have a microphone and you don’t, so it works out for me at this point in the lecture.”
A man—perhaps the same one, perhaps a different one—then asked, “Why are you grumpy, Lauren?” Mayberry responded with the only gesture appropriate to that kind of question and moved on to the next song.
Now, we’re guessing this guy was a fan of Chvrches, Mayberry, and perhaps even of her well-spoken, fiery feminism. But, dude—dude—however cute and positive you think your expression of love and appreciation for the singer was, it was still catcalling. Also, asking a woman why she’s grumpy is like telling her to smile more. Guess, what? She’s not going to smile more. Know better, do better.