This Is How You Become Best Friends With Jennifer Lawrence

*based on a true story

Serious question: Who wouldn't want to be best friends with Jennifer Lawrence? If you, sir or madam, respond "I wouldn't," this isn't the article for you. But if you answer, "No one," then this is your lucky day.

Last night, Jennifer Lawrence made an appearance on The Late Show. Aside from charming the suspenders and pants off of David Letterman, Lawrence also waxed poetic about her best friend Justine. "She was my friend's roommate. And I won't say on-air what the first words I ever heard fly out of her mouth when she, like, flew into the room. But it solidified our friendship," Lawrence says. "I was like 'you,' 'me,' forever." We never quite find out what those words are—when she finally whispers them in Letterman's ear, he laughs and says, "I'm sorry, we really can't [say it on-air]"—but our imaginations are kind of running wild with the possibilities. 

Nevertheless, if you want to become best friends with Jennifer Lawrence, essentially, the trick is to enter every single room screaming profanities—ones that are too risqué for late-night television.