editor’s pick: feed me

When I was a little kid, my "hunger-related mood swings" were so severe that my mom would bring little snacks with her everywhere we went in an effort to keep me from going postal on random people at the playground, mall, aquarium, or whatever, because of low blood sugar. Thanks to her vigilance, and I guess, my metabolism straightening out as an adult, I am proud to say that I have maintained a criminal record free of anger management-related blemishes. I think I'll wear this sweatshirt as a warning to innocent by-passers of what could have been, had they met me when I was eight.

Get yours here.