Here’s Why We Don’t Need A “Lady Marmalade” Reunion

Non, merci

Baz Luhrmann's iconic 2001 movie, Moulin Rouge!, has given us a lot of things: a tango version of The Police's "Roxanne," Ewan McGregor's singing voice, and ample tunes for figure skaters to perform to. It, also, delivered a monumental ménage à quatre featuring Christina Aguilera, P!nk, Lil' Kim, and Mya. (Missy Elliott bookends the track, but it's the foursome's show.) Their cover of Labelle's 1974 song "Lady Marmalade," complete with a sexed-up video and a few scattered performances thereafter, was a tour de force of pop culture. To put out the idea of a reunion into the universe is impious.

But that's exactly what Mya did this week, during an appearance on Entertainment Tonight Canada. And just like people do with every Sex and the City reunion teaser, they're clamoring for it.

Please, friends, let us have this nice thing for once. We've all seen what happened with Sex and the City 2; just look at the drama that's come from the long-rumored third movie! Can you imagine Aguilera and P!nk beefing over social media like Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are, even though the two pop stars claim they've since settled their differences from the collaboration? I can't, and I refuse to let that masterpiece of divine feminine sexual prowess be tainted. 

Look, I get it. Nostalgia runs the world. We crave the things that gave us life in the past. Some things are, indeed, worthy of getting the reboot action. (The Comeback, anyone?) Some things, like "Lady Marmalade," are not. How would such a reunion move the needle? What sort of pleasure would it inspire that watching the video on YouTube cannot? Just because we can, can, can (heh!) wish for something like this, doesn't mean it's good for its legacy! Mya flexing the Prince mentoring she spoke of in the same ET Canada interview, however, would be refreshingly unexpected. Lemme hear that flow, sister.