Are Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Married, Or Nah?

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are the perfect illusion somewhere in all this Hollywood romance confusion. Us Weekly is reporting the low-key, high-profile couple are married, and have been for quite some time. Looks like the world was too early to cry that love is dead following the divorce announcement from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. What do you think of that, L.A.? 

Multiple nameless sources (as usual) tell the publication Gosling and Mendes held a small, private (obviously) ceremony among friends and family. “Eva and Ryan have always felt like a married couple,” a source close to Mendes says. “They are infatuated with each other.” That's the coattails Us Weekly is riding on, but there's reason to believe there's more to these anonymous sources' stories. There always is and the Daily Mail will surely find spin how infatuated they are with multiple separate photo captions: one about the twinkle in Gosling's eye, another about the sweet nothings they whispered to one another while seated at their intimate reception dinner, and another about how dotting they are over their daughters, Esmeralda and Amada.

Hollywood truly works in mysterious ways. It's almost like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are divorcing to make way for Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes' marriage to succeed. Stay woke, sheeple. The Illuminati is real.