For Valentine’s Day, Name A Cockroach After Your Ex

Or, you know, Donald Trump

New York City's Bronx Zoo has had its incredibly popular "Name a Roach" program in place since Valentine's Day 2011. For the last six years, people who have been unlucky in love could have the last laugh by spending a mere $10 to name one of the zoo's Madagascar hissing cockroaches whatever—and after whomever—they wanted. For the price of a couple cups of coffee, the zoo would send a digital certificate bearing the new name of one of its roaches to your formerly loved one. What a treat!

We've long been advocates of this program, and not only because we think revenge is a gift best served on six creepy crawly legs. Rather, we think this is also a great gift for your still loved ones, because what symbolizes eternity better than an insect that was an actual contemporary to the dinosaurs? 

This year, there's another brilliant opportunity to be had with this program. Don't think small and petty by naming your roach after someone you know IRL. Rather, why not name that roach after Donald Trump? Or Mike Pence? Or Steve Bannon? Or Kellyanne Conway? Or even Melania? There are seemingly unlimited options for which member of the Trump administration you can name a roach! How exciting. What a time to be alive. And naming roaches.