They say a full moon is a time to reckon with what’s over, to inventory that which worked in our favor and release what’s behind us, so that we move unmoored out into the unknown expanse.
This month’s full moon might be like any other full moon for you, which is to say: luminous, a night that shows you everything she’s got.
Maybe when you were a child, you were like me, you were told that staring at the moon too long would drive you to lunacy. So, you spent hours looking; nights when everyone slept, you dared yourself to take the risk. Was there truth to it? Did the moon drive wildness into you? Or, was it just like that movie with Cher and Nicholas Cage? One day, there’s a full moon in your eye, a wolf at the door, and you consent to ruining yourself with love? Here and now, in the depths of this Venus retrograde, it is time to talk about ruin—not what is destroyed, but what is sacred—what remains.
And, what do we mean when we talk about love; about our ability to behold each other the way we behold the moon? Listen, there were stories given to you on the day you were born and stories written between you and the ones who were meant to care for you. When we talk about love, we talk about inheritance, devastation, familial loss. We talk about facing the worst of ourselves because the only way out is through.
Conjunct Uranus, opposite Venus Rx in Scorpio conjunct Sun in Scorpio, this month’s full moon in Taurus spends the night re-learning her own stories so that she might grieve and grow strong. Uranus, primordial sky god of transformation born of chaos, and Venus, the mother of Eros and goddess of love and fertility, in the fixed signs of sensual Taurus and probing Scorpio is a recipe for the kind of trouble some of us pine for our whole lives and some of us wish we’d never agreed to. Broken by love and gathered by it in turn, like a white bowl tended with gold where the cracks remain, this full moon is interested in the kind of transformation that reminds us who we were born to be; the kind of transformation that is rooted in memory and forgiveness.
Taurus, whose devotion is often mistaken for inflexibility, has a center of gravity like no other sign. Their core is strong and their commitment to maintaining their own dignity even stronger. A Taurus will hold on to something untenable until they are destroyed by it. They will pride themselves on how strong they looked, how invulnerable, as they were dying. A Taurus won’t ask you for help but will invite you to have a meal with them every other day. In this way, they can reassure themselves that they are anchored to other human beings and that emotional support is one dinner date away. A Taurus is resourceful, but they would rather have your respect than your sympathy. Compounded by planetary effects, this full moon will push us to re-examine the ways in which we have divided strength from vulnerability and, in doing so, stripped ourselves of grace.
In a body that is always negotiating the masculine and the feminine, on a planet that aims to falsely convince us these are energies at odds, how can we reconcile what we know to be true? That everything alive is in compliment and sacred balance; that we need each other. In the ancient texts, there were holy trans people, and they have been written into the book of life. No regime, no false president, no plutocracy can erase a people. But, they can try. And you? In your room aching for the state of the world in its constant disrepair, you can tend to what’s within your power.
While the Taurus full moon fills up the sky hard and heavy like a heart of stone, four planets in Scorpio whirl around us, making waves that wash over the moon and seep into it. If, under this full moon, your heart aches with old memories and new longing, let it work its way out of you and to the surface. I want to promise you that no matter how bad it gets, how wide open your heart’s secret door swings, it won’t break. But, I can’t. If opening means breaking, good. Beauty is born out of breakage. Venus was born in wave and split shell. Besides, you can fill the cracks with gold and walk proud with it, adorned—beheld like a moon and ready to act like one, which is to say protective and secretive, an agent of love and resistance.