Robyn Dreams Of IRL Hookups & Adam Driver On “Sexistential”

Being a single mom does wonders for your sex drive — just ask Robyn. On her latest track “Sexistential,” the Swedish singer details her quest for sex, motherhood be damned.

Robyn makes her position known right away by declaring, “F*ck an app, I need me some IRL / I’m on the clock, just give me your ASL.” (For those who weren’t around in the AOL Instant Messenger days, ASL means “age, sex, location.”) Most people would be apprehensive to join the dating game so soon after giving birth, but not Robyn:

“I'm already 10 weeks in maternity / F*ck a single mom, I'm not judgmental.”

On the contrary; postpartum has turned one of our most essential, capital Y Yearners into a casual sex fan who searches for hookups in sweatpants and self-pleasures to Hentai. “I need philosophy, this sh*t is sexistential,” she says.

Judging by a conversation she had with her doctor, it sounds like she adopted this new attitude before she even got pregnant. “So I was about to go have a kid on my own / And then my doctor said, ‘Now, Robyn, who would be your dream donor?’ ‘Well, Adam Driver always did kinda give me a boner.’” (A huge win for Girls fans everywhere — IYKYK.)

Arguably the most important aspect of her newfound philosophy, however, is going out, meeting up IRL, and letting the cards fall how they may. So if you see Robyn at the club, be sure not to make any mention of apps, Plan B, therapy, or single moms around her.

Even if Robyn’s search for sex is just a symptom of the hormones — they did inspire some “hormonal rants on IG,” after all — she’s ready to give into her desires, boldly and unabashedly.

My body's a spaceship with the ovaries on hyperdrive / Got a whole universe inside that exists in between my thighs / Do I have a consistent will to persist and finish this ride? / My babymaker's got twenty in the clip, ready to fire

“Sexistential” is available to stream now.