In “Ask a Witch,” Gabriela Herstik answers your questions about channeling ancient wisdom in the modern age. From spellcraft to finding your path, explore what it means to be a millennial witch.
It’s that time of summer again; the sun is heating us up and fueling our carnal lust for love. Hems are getting shorter, and flames are getting stronger. Like the feeling of that most delicious stretch after waking up, this month is about finding our inner fire and letting her burn, burn, burn. It’s the summer of love, baby!
I’ve had multiple people ask me how they can get back together with their exes, or sweeten relationships they already have. Relationship magick has to be worked on a case-by-case basis, and I don’t condone working magick against someone else’s consent. There are plenty of witches-for-hire for help with specific spells like getting back together with an ex. But, if you’re simply looking for some magick to add some sugar to your love, then look no further.
This month you’re getting a brand-new honey jar spell to pack into your witch arsenal for when your love needs a little somethin’ somethin’. This spell utilizes honey, flowers, candle magick, visualization, and energy work to sweeten an existing love or to bring forth a new sweet relationship. Hello, season of love!
To prepare, do something that makes you feel like the radiant little piece of heaven you are. Go to the spa, make self-love, go to the pool in your favorite bathing suit, or lounge around your house in lingerie. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you begin to create a space where you can feel loved, adored, and powerful. A ritual shower or bath would be an exceptionally good place to start before doing this spell, and you can even take time to put some oil or a scent on to help you get into the mood. Light candles, find a quiet space where you can be alone, and get to work!
A note: This spell should be performed on a Full, Waxing, or New Moon since we’re focusing on manifesting. The ideal day to perform it would be on Friday since we’re focusing on love and Friday is ruled by Venus.
A clean small glass jar with lid (can be an old washed jam, salsa, honey jar… whatever);
Rose petals (pink, red, and white work best);
Pink candle (that fits atop the jar's lid);
A lighter or matches;
Symbols for whatever else you want in the relationship, like some jalapeño seeds to spice things up, or cinnamon for protection
Sage or palo santo
Ground and center: With your supplies in front of you, take some time to ground and center. You can do this by burning sage or palo santo, sitting in a comfortable position, and taking a few deep breaths. Imagine your tailbone extending into a long golden cord that reaches into the base of the earth. (My best friend told me yesterday she imagines a bean stalk à la Jack climbing up through her spine which also works perfectly!) Feel the way the earth supports you. Remember how much she loves and cares for you. You can also cast a circle of protection if that’s in your practice.
Intention is the new black: Decide on your intention. Whether it’s to sweeten an existing relationship or to call in a relationship, write it down on the piece of paper. If you work with sigils, then you can also create one here. You can write something simple, like, “The relationships I attract are sweet, nourishing and supportive. The relationships I am in are sweet, nourishing and supportive.” You can also describe how you want to feel with your love and what you want to give. Write something that feels good to you, and remember that the aim of a spell should never be to control someone else, so don’t write something that’s about one specific person. Instead, focus on how you want to feel. Once you’re done writing your intention, fold up your paper, thanking the cosmos for blessing you with relationships that serve the highest good of all involved. You can cleanse this paper with sage and palo santo, and anoint it with rose oil.
Honey it up: Once you’ve folded up your paper, take a second to feed into the energy of what you’re manifesting. Ask yourself: How does your lover feel against your lips? Does your heart light up when you hug them? Do you want to lay in bed and read with them all day? Feel these feelings as if they were already real and then decide them to be true. Expect them! Know that it will happen and let the universe to take care of the details. Once you’re visualized, put the folded up paper in the jar, adding in honey, rose petals, seeds, and whatever else you have that reminds you of what you’re manifesting. As the honey coats your intention, sweetness and love bless your magick. You can continue to speak and feel your intention as you add in correspondences like herbs, flowers, and crystals.
Bless it up, babe: After you’ve added everything to the honey jar, seal the lid. Take a second to hold it, breathing into your palms, imagining a golden light surrounding the spell jar. Feel those feelings and then state your intention once more. Say: “I bless this honey jar in the name of love, in the name of the universe, and in the name of my highest power. So mote it be.”
It’s lit: Take your candle and pass it through the sacred smoke. If you have rose oil you want to anoint it in, start at the top and work to the middle, then start at the bottom and work towards the middle. Set the candle on top of the closed jar (you may have to burn the wax a little so it sticks.) Take a second to ground and center and then, once the candle is secure, light it. You can raise energy here by dancing, singing, chanting, or even masturbating; either way, when you feel the energy at its peak, release it to the universe as an offering and affirmation to the work you just did. You can put out the flame by fanning it, with a candle stopper, or by pinching it. DO NOT BLOW IT OUT!
Finish it up!: Time to ground and center. You can do this by rooting as you did before the spell, imagining the bean stalk or golden cord connecting you to the earth and then breathing in like you’re breathing through a straw, imagining any excess energy returning to the earth. You can also press your forehead into the earth like in child’s pose, imagining the excess energy returning in the same way. Take a few deep breaths and feel the earth supporting you.
Keep at it: This is a multiple-day spell; until the candle is burned completely, the spell will not be over. If you can, take at least 10 minutes each day to burn that candle and romance yourself, giving yourself the sweetness you so crave; do a face mask, take sexy photos, pop some Champagne, or simply take a bath. Make this your #TreatYourself time, for your magick to kick into high gear. You deserve it!
When you’re done with this spell, bury it, preferably at a crossroads. You can also throw it out at an intersection or crossroads, making sure to walk away from it without looking back. Here’s to the sweetest summer of love yet.