Illustrations by Devin Elida Kelly


sextrology: the best way to hook up with any astrological sign

Freak Me Right

by christie craft

There’s no sexier time of the year than deep summer. As hemlines become shorter and more skin is revealed to combat sweltering humidity and scorching temperatures, it’s near impossible to not feel a little, well, hot. Just walking down a crowded street and brushing against a sexy stranger’s exposed flesh can fill a mundane moment with the frenzied energy akin to that of a packed club’s sweaty, orgy-like dance floor.

It’s no wonder, then, why so much of our summer is spent making moves to bring us all a little closer—physically. Our romantic radar is teeming with options this time of year, and luckily, astrology can serve as an excellent tool to navigating your way into the boudoir. After all, you can either take an active roll in catching that babe’s eye, or simply stalk them silently on every social-media channel available; the choice is yours.

Go on and sweat, girl.

Aries: Shock and Awe

Ruled by fiery and aggressive Mars, when an Aries has you in his or her sightline, you will absolutely know. Notoriously competitive Rams love to make the first move, and often make their intentions crystal clear with a startlingly direct approach, usually slaying their prey with acuity and pleasure. Being the first sign of the zodiac, Aries understand the importance of firsts—first dates, first kisses, and first hookups generally follow a shock-and-awe path, so expect fireworks.

If you’re smitten with an Aries, don’t be afraid to be bold—Aries loves being pursued. Rams are very impressionable, so lay it on thick and let them know you think that they’re the sexiest thing on two legs since Sofia Loren. Going for it will not only rev up this fire sign, but also earn their respect.

Mentally, Aries’ interest is easily piqued with debate—spirited tête-à-têtes and strong opinions are powerful aphrodisiacs. People born under this constellation are very sexual and athletic. One of the best ways of getting closer to an Aries is by doing things physical together, like going for a run or shooting a game of pool. Despite always being up for a challenge, this intense sign is not into playing head games. Trying to mindfuck an Aries is ill-advised, lest you find yourself a permanent resident of Dumpsville, USA.

Best matches: Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Aries 

Taurus: Stop and Smell the Roses

Being Taurus’ object of affection is a heavenly, tender courtship. Venus, the goddess of love, beauty, sex, and sensuality, rules Taurus, so their seduction style involves lots of soft words, kind gestures, and drawn-out lovemaking. This Venusian influence also makes those born under this sign unparalleled gift givers. You’d be lucky to catch one of these affection addicts.

Bulls have a penchant for savoring life’s sweetness at their own pace—be it charging full ahead or stamping their hooves in place. Don’t rush or pressure this notoriously stubborn earth sign. Known for their “my way or the highway” attitude, Taurus has no hesitancy when it comes to leaving controlling people in the dust.

These luxurious beasts are easily tamed with a superb meal in a comfortable, relaxed setting. Taurus responds to sensual stimuli like gangbusters, so plush textures and splashes of high-end fragrances go a long way. Don’t hide your golden sense of humor—though earthy people, Taurus is not one to take life all that seriously.

Best matches: Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces, Virgo, Cancer, Taurus   

Gemini: Schizophrenic Sapiosexuals

Have you caught the eye of a Gemini? You poor thing: You must be so confused. True to their symbol, Geminis are known for their double-dealing nature and often run hot and cold when it comes to shows of affection. But don’t let their twinning tendencies throw you off course—this is a sign that will need his or her space.

Air signs are the true intellectuals of the zodiac, and Gemini leads the flock as the most aggressively brainy. Those born under the twin constellation are most easily bagged through cerebral stimulation. If you are an expert in something—literally, anything, and the more obscure and weird, the better—strike up a lively conversation. Geminis find knowledge irresistible.

Just as Geminis are drawn to experts, this sign is also an excellent teacher and communicator. If your Gemini crush mentions a hobby or interest, be sure to ask for a crash course. Nothing gets this sign hot quicker than an opportunity to show off their smarts.

Best matches: Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Aries, Gemini

Cancer: Softshell Sweethearts

The givers of all 12 signs, nurturing Cancer is more likely to showcase his or her affection for you with subtle, motherly gestures, rather than by pinning you down and bearing all. Ruled by the moon, Cancer the Crab is supremely sensitive, displaying their love by letting you know it’s safe to be vulnerable and digging as deep as they can get.

Likewise, these lunar crabs need to feel emotionally safe before they venture out of their shells. At their core, Cancers are big babies and love to be doted on as much as they like to give affection. To get close to a Cancer, show him or her your soft, sensitive side, and mirror their nurturing actions. Domestic delights like home-cooked meals or intellectual stimuli are surefire ways to make lasting waves.

Cancers aren’t known for being the forward type, so you’ll likely need to initiate the first move. Be warned: Water signs are notoriously intuitive, so don’t even try to fake it. Disingenuous gestures will get you the boot faster than you can say, “crab rangoon.” 

Best matches: Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces, Taurus, Cancer

Leo: Make That Kitty Purrrrr

Once a Leo has you in his or her romantic crosshairs, you’ll find it impossible to pull away. Lions are naturally seductive, and the wooing game comes second nature to these fiery beasts. Lucky lovers taken by Leo will simply drown in lavish displays of affection.

To catch regal Leo’s eye, all you need to do is compliment him or her. Literally. Anything flattering will get these leonine people wet, so be sure to bathe them in flattery about their sartorial sensibilities, career achievements, musical taste, the way they breathe, how they eat, and how hot they probably look sleeping. 

You’ll need to focus on your Leo interest—and only your Leo interest—with laser-like acuity. Though this sign enjoys flashes of friendly competition, they loathe sharing the spotlight. Once you get this sign alone, whisper encouraging words of praise in his or her ears while running your fingers through Leo’s impressive mane. 

Best matches: Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Aries, Gemini, Leo  

Virgo: Meticulous Lover

Though not thought of as the cuddliest sign, Virgos have a uniquely subtle way of showing you that they’ve got butterflies. You might not even notice it at first, but earthy, steady Virgo wants to make you comfortable (in order to get you open, of course). Telltale signs of adoration include preening over you (think: Tastefully adjusting your collar or tucking in an errant garment tag) and becoming deeply engrossed in whatever you say in conversation.

When it comes to seducing Virgo the virgin, cleanliness—along with impeccable presentation and grooming—is key. Those born under this sign are notoriously meticulous and selective in choosing lovers, and they won’t just go for any slouch. Attention to detail gets Virgo hot and bothered, so don’t neglect little extras like a clean bed linen or a splash of fragrance.

Virgo, like its fellow earth signs, tends to be very doting. A foolproof way to entice this sign to hang out is by asking him or her for help, especially with something that flatters their knowledge base. Make your Virgo feel needed, and you’ll have ‘em wrapped around your finger.

Best matches: Pisces, Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn, Virgo

Libra: High-Style Romance

Romance and seduction come naturally to Libra, who’s ruled by the planet of love, beauty, and sex—Venus (same with Taurus, too!). Libras are legendarily charming, and when one has his or her sights on you, you’ll feel like you’ve been discovered by a glitzy star. Libra's proclivity for beauty and style makes this sign one of the most visually dazzling of all, easily melting hearts with a coy smile or a flashy glance. 

Channeling classic beauty and glamour is the way to go when trying to stand out in Libra’s (vast) crowd of suitors. They are all about sophistication, so if there was ever a time to channel Clark Gable or Katherine Hepburn, now is it. Showing off your panache will go far with this air sign, so dress to impress.

An attentive demeanor is an effective aphrodisiac. But don’t even think about taking your Libra out for beer and pizza—unless, of course, they have decided on it themselves (which is a tricky thing for them to do). You’ll have success with flashy shows of affection, like bottle service or a super-personal date. 

Best matches: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Libra 

Scorpio: “I Invented Sex”

These mysterious water signs may be the dungeon masters of the zodiac since Pluto, the gatekeeper to the underworld, is their ruler. Bells and whistles aside, Scorpio is the most primal, sexual sign of all 12. You stand little chance if one of these ultimate masters of seduction wants you. Known for their intense eyes, you’ll easily feel Scorpio’s fixed gaze undressing you. Hookups tend to take on a confessional nature, so don’t be scared if you find yourself naked in Scorpio’s lair, divulging your deepest sexual secrets. Your Scorp honey will make them reality. 

Ensnaring a Scorpio for real is another task entirely, and I hope you’re up for a challenge. Notoriously secretive, Scorpions take their privacy very seriously, only allowing a select few into their world. Reading those born under this constellation is near impossible, as is getting one over on them. They’ll relish watching you squirm and dangle until the last second when their trademark empathy sets in. Now, their trap is set for sex.

Though fierce, Scorpio is hypersensitive and does not forget wounds easily or quickly. The best way to earn his or her trust in the dating game is to operate with complete integrity and honesty. A word of advice: Making this sign jealous will doom you. 

Best matches: Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces, Taurus, Scorpio

Sagittarius: The Grandstanding Goof

Playful Sagittarius will take to schoolyard tactics in letting you know that they dig you. Don’t be offended if Sag pulls your hair or lobs teasing jokes at your expense—that’s their way of showing love. Aside from giving you a good poke in the ribs, Sagittarius is also quite worldly and well-traveled, and will get a kick out of impressing you with a good story.

Seducing the Archer is fairly easy—if you have the right technique, that is. Showcase your sense of humor by shooting back bold wisecracks. The wittier you are, the more likely you will be to see Sag’s bedroom ceiling.

Sagittarius is also known for being a lover of nature and the outdoors. Like its fellow fire signs, Sag is physical, so inviting him or her to go hiking or to hang out in a park or green space are perfect opportunities to get closer. If you play your cards right, you may even end up hooking up in public—those born under this sign are shameless exhibitionists. 

Best matches: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Aquarius, Sagittarius

Capricorn: Tradition Trumps All

Capricorn harvests respect easily due to their steady, grounded nature and authoritative calmness, and don’t hear the word “no” often. These masterfully controlled earth signs are heartwarmingly traditional in their courting approach. If a Goat wants to spend more time with you, expect to not only be wined-and-dined, but also interrogated about politics, art, music—anything that informs your taste level.

You might be a tad intimidated by this sign if one has caught your eye, but rest assured that Caps are far more congenial once you get to know them. Limit your time with Capricorn and never overstay your welcome—the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” rings true for those born under this constellation. Leave them with a lingering kiss, and they’re bound to blow up your phone after a few days of silence.

Similar to their earth sign counterparts, Capricorns need to take romance at a snail’s pace to feel comfortable and in control. Don’t rush this sign; take cues from them. Though grounded, Capricorns will absolutely let you know if you’ve crossed any critical lines.

Best matches: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces, Capricorn

Aquarius: Alien Magnetism

Arguably the most forward-thinking sign of the zodiac, Aquarius is fiercely independent and loves to keep it chill when they’ve got a crush. In fact, they tend to keep it so chill, they can sometimes come off as cold and aloof. Once you think this quirky sign is over you, they’ll surprise you with an oddball show of affection, hooking you for good.

A tough nut to crack, an avant-garde approach to attracting an Aquarius works well. Friendship is a brilliant icebreaker, especially if you can put your physical attraction on pause to build something genuine and platonic first.

Once you show the Water Bearer that you’re just friends and nothing more, their rebellious side will kick back in, maybe in the form of a stolen kiss. Follow their lead (and try not to become frustrated), and you’re in for otherworldly adventures.

Best matches: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Pisces: Down the Rabbit Hole

Cut from the same cloth as watery sister signs Scorpio and Cancer, Pisces possess supernatural tendencies toward intuiting others’ most private emotions. If that doesn’t frighten you away from diving into dating a water sign, then you can count yourself stronger than most. Pisces are masters at manipulating this talent, frequently employing it to wiggle their way into your pants. Let the wave of acceptance wash over you and go with the flow.

Charming a Pisces is complex, but less intense than that of Scorpio and less maternal than Cancer. Pisces are highly sensitive people who are extremely drawn to experiential delights. Do you hold the secret to transporting your Fish to a new and exotic world (either through travel and adventure or by way of an altered mind state)? Open up and include them, and you’ll have quite the catch.

Though often floating through life in dreamlike states, Pisces isn’t one to dilly-dally. The instant you feel erotic sparks, take heed of the energy and entice your love with a caress in one of Pisces’ many erogenous zones. 

Best matches: Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer, Pisces