Photo courtesy of British Condoms


The Smart Condom Is Like A Fitbit For A Penis

Head, meet brain

A Fitbit can track your cardio during sex but does it count how many thrusts were thrust and the girth of the appendage being thrust? No? Darn.

World, meet i.Con Smart Condom, the new wearable technology from British Condoms that claims to measure calories burned during sex, the number of thrusts, and the thrusting penis' girth. It can reportedly detect STIs such as chlamydia and syphilis, too. You could say we've reached the climax of the quantifiable self.

Now, the i.Con Smart Condom is not a condom per se. It's the wearable technology version of a cock ring that sits at the base of your regular ol' Family Planning aisle condom. There's even an app that tracks your boot knocking and reports back. Neat!

It works by using nano-chip technology and sensors that map the penis' average temperature, girth, thrust speed, positions changed, calories burnt, and more. No word as to how this little guy knows a partner might have syphilis and/or chlamydia, though. Adam Leverson, the i.Con's lead engineer, tipped Metro off to that particular detail. 

But what is one to do with all this information? Share it, obviously! The i.Con has the option to anonymously share your data with other users through the app because measuring up isn't arduous enough on masculinity's fragility. 

The i.Con Smart Condom will reportedly run for around $74. Preorders aren't available yet as the company is wrapping its testing up now, with an expected debut sometime this year. You can register for updates, though! Gotta get ahead of the game somehow, eh? This gives a whole new meaning to playing it safe and playing it smart.