2006 was the year I got Facebook, and for the next two years the most spoken words at my high school were, "Tag me!" Everyone from the populars to the art weirdos to the kids with TI89 calculators in their pockets 24/7 were uttering the phrase left and right, hoping up up the number of tagged photos on their profiles. (These were the days where you could only be tagged in photos, not posts or statuses, mind you.)
I, however, never wanted to be tagged on Facebook. I wanted to be like the Boo Radley of the internet, loitering in the shadows, mysteriously. That led me to tag a lot of my photos with fake names like "Your Mom" (I was very original then, I know) or just tag random people instead of myself (they loved that).
What I should have done, in retrospect, is just created a fake Facebook all together, like Jesse Eisenberg did. During one of my morning subway rides listening to NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Podcast, I learned that The Social Network star created his first, and only, Facebook account in the name of Wait Wait's host, Peter Seigel.
Inspired by Eisenberg, here are ten people who's names are worth stealing, whether for your Facebook or for engraving on this ID tag necklace. Consider it the IRL version of mis-tagging on Facebook, because if you write Beyonce on your necklace, well, it must be true.
"Clarissa" -- A good choice because girls named Clarissa can literally explain it all.
"Babs" -- Short for Babs Bunny or Barbara Walters, everyone loves a good Babs.
"Audrey" -- The Twin Peaks' bad girl would totally have a nameplate necklace.
"Michelle Williams" -- Either way, you win.
"Deb" -- I feel like traditional "Mom names" work best on nameplates, and "Deb" does double duty as an '80s mom name and the name of the coolest girl in high school.
"Zenon" -- For obvious reasons.
"Wayne Campbell" -- It's what Cassandra would do.