Love can't be found in a bottle and good sex doesn't just happen. They both require work, willpower, and, most importantly, patience. Of course, a little magick can also go a long way.
Spells that improve your love life do exist but should be used on a case-by-case basis, as I learned from Bri Luna, aka the Hoodwitch. "[You] are the beginning of all sex and love workings," she says. "If we don't respect or appreciate our own bodies, there is no possible way that we'll ever attract a worthy partner that respects or values us."
You can start this process by doing something as simple as turning to rose quartz. The Hoodwitch says these crystals "aid in the opening of the heart space" and can be enhanced with rose oil or "submerged into bath water with rose petals, jasmine flowers, [and/or] hibiscus." The Hoodwitch adds that rose quartz is also used as "a stone of reconciliation and releasing past trauma." Another way to go about getting to know and love yourself is with Chakrubs, a crystalline sex toy brand that, when used with particular intention, can work in harmony with your sexual energy to bring your body to a higher state of consciousness. "Meditating while placing rose quartz on the heart's center or genitals is also very healing," the Hoodwitch says. (You can read more about that here.)
When preparing for a self-love ritual, you may want to play music or you may not. Drawing from her own experience, the Hoodwitch says, "Music has the ability to literally shift and raise our energetic frequency. This raised energy is important in spellwork. However, I don’t always sing and dance if I’m working on a ritual that requires more time, patience, or concentration." If you wish, you can practice your self-love ritual every day. "Try looking at yourself in the mirror every morning naked and thanking each of your body parts, or just looking into a mirror and telling yourself, 'I love you,'" she suggests. "The amount of rituals you can do is infinite. While some are most favorable during certain times, moon phases, or days of the week, that shouldn’t stop you from creating your own meaningful ritual."
The new moon phases, however, signal a time of rebirth and new beginnings. "The new moon is the time where I create and focus on manifesting new goals, new intentions," she tells us. Utilizing journals and mantras can help support your goal until the full moon occurs and you can better maintain your focus.
Intention, though, is the most important thing when conducting a ritual or constructing an altar. "Each person’s altar will be significantly different and meaningful for whatever purpose they've constructed it for," she says. They can be as elaborate or as minimal as you want. "Truly, it’s just a matter of your living environment, the space you're allowed to dedicate, and also if you’d even like to display your altar openly in your home or workspace."
Below, the Hoodwitch outlines the essentials you need to create your own love altar. After that, the rest is up to you and your energy. Remember: The love energy you devote to yourself will attract the love energy of others.
- Goddesses Most Useful In Working With Love Spells: Aphrodite, Freya, and Oshun
- Animal Spirits: hummingbirds, cats, and rabbits
- Flowers: red roses, lilies, and jasmine flowers
- Oils: rose oil, jasmine oil, neroli, patchouli, and sandalwood
- Crystals: rose quartz, carnelian, ruby, and clear quartz
- Candle Colors: red for passionate love; a deep red for evoking sexual energy; pink for romance, self-love, friendship, and nurturing