“You’re not ready for this one.” In most cases, we are; we are ready for whatever is about to unfold on some three-to-four minute song. Music has become so predictable, we can surmise what the drop will be before it even drops. But when Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi says it, the tables turn, the tides change, and Gwyneth Paltrow reaches for a single light American Spirit, only to catch herself before breaking her one cigarette a week rule. (Just hold on, Gwyneth. We are three sleeps away from Saturday.) We were not ready for this one; nor could we have been—for how do you even prepare for “Yung Mommy,” Polizzi’s new song and music video? In a world drunk on M.I.L.F. money, where are we to find nourishment?
“Get ready, bitches,” Polizzi advises. We’re about to answer that question.