the most crushable twin peaks characters ever

    lp + jh forever.

    by · October 11, 2014

    Where on earth would the world be without David Lynch’s mystic brainchild Twin Peaks? Some might argue that we’d be exactly where we are today, but others—more in-tune with the quizzical nature of the Red Room and the coded messages of a certain slow-talking giant—understand that from the moment Laura Palmer washed ashore, pop culture would be forever changed.

    Now, 25 years after the show’s release, we’re finally getting what Laura Palmer promised us: a Twin Peaks revival, in the form of a 9-episode revamp by Showtime and the show’s creators, Lynch and Mark Frost. And while we’re so excited to see how the small town deals with the revelation of the Black and White Lodges and the Bob-inhabited Agent Dale Cooper, what we’re most excited about (and admit it, you are too), is seeing our favorite crush-worthy characters once again. So we dug out our diaries (which, yes, were scribbled with things like “LP + JH Forever” and “Mrs. Agent Dale Cooper”) and revisited those times when seeing Bobby Briggs would cause us to incontrollably giggle. Here are the 10 most crush-worthy characters in Twin Peaks history:

    10. James Hurley

    Yes, he’s cute, he’s got a leather jacket, and he rides around on a 1975 Harley-Davidson Electra Glide. Still, there’s something about James that, quite frankly, kind of bugs us. Whether it’s his penchant to get himself mixed up with self-absorbed women (Laura Palmer, Evelyn Marsh) or something else, we’re not entirely sure. Still, we find ourselves routing for him and whatever relationship he decides to pursue (Donna or Maddy, which one is it??).

    9. Big Ed Hurley

    Confession: We have a love-hate relationship with Big Ed. We, along with everyone else in recorded history, love his relationship with Norma Jennings—high school sweethearts who still love each other, despite all obstacles? It’s all terribly cute. But sorry Ed, we don’t love how you kept the truth from Nadine for all those years. There’s a lesson to be learned here: Treat all women with as much respect as you possibly can.

    8. Laura Palmer

    Laura has just about every boy in Twin Peaks wrapped around her little finger and it’s not hard to see why—from her blonde hair to her charming smile, Laura was the quintessential girl next door, albeit one that was haunted by a spirit of the Black Lodge. Too bad she is kind of a jerk.

    7. Bobby Briggs

    We saw a whole new side of Bobby in the extended footage of Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me: a softer, more vulnerable side. Still, we loved him in the show all the same. Now that we think about it, he might just be the only non-cheesy bad boy quarterback in television history.

    6. Donna Hayward

    She’s got killer style, killer hair, and we kind of really love her transformation from the town’s resident good girl to mystery-solving smokeshow.

    5. Denise Bryson

    Perhaps David Duchovney’s greatest role to date, we love everything about Denise—from her confidence to her honesty to the way she always stands behind Agent Dale Cooper.

    4. Gordon Cole

    David Lynch’s hard-hearing FBI chief always provides the comic relief we need. “Cooper, you remind me today of a small Mexican CHI-WOW-WOW.” But when he falls for a woman, he doesn’t just hear her...he listens, too.

    3. Sheriff Harry S. Truman

    Small town sheriff by day, vigilante dream boat by night. This Bookhouse Boy can do no wrong in our book (or in Josie Packard’s, we might add). He’s just an altogether a great guy—which may be why he finds himself at total odds with the folks in Twin Peaks.

    2. Audrey Horne

    There was something so endearing about her character arc—her transition from the poor little disruptive rich girl to the motivated Nancy Drew-type. If only her and Agent Dale Cooper got together. But alas...

    1. Agent Dale Cooper

    Agent Cooper might not be the most traditionally handsome man on this list, but over here, that’s not what matters. From his little quips to his charming relationship with Diane (his recorder-slash-secretary?) to his love for “one damn fine cup of coffee,” Agent Cooper is #1 on our list. (After all, there is a reason why we once wrote, “Agent Cooper may be responsible for so many unrealistic ideals many of us have about men because there is no human man that will ever meet his generosity of spirit.”) We just hope that Agent Cooper will be able to exorcise himself of Bob in this new season. In fact, we’re hoping on it.

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    Last updated: 2014-10-10T17:38:35-04:00
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