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Ask A Witch: The Truth About Love Magic

So you want to use a love spell? Here's how to safely dive into love magic, according to a witch.

by Napaquetzalli Martinez

This is Ask A Witch, NYLON’s column with Indigenous healer and herbalist Napaquetzalli Martinez that answers your questions on the esoteric, the spiritual, and so much more.

True divine unions are orchestrated by spirit, often far before we become consciously aware of it. The path along the way can be rocky for some, and coming into alignment with what you’re truly looking for takes immense discernment. As with any life concern, people sometimes seek magical solutions to their trials and tribulations. In this era of social media oversaturation, plenty of misguided information is spread on huge platforms, much of which is far removed from a grounded magical and spiritual practice. Most seasoned spiritual guides won’t be found on TikTok.

All About Love Spells

For the most part, doing “love spells” is doing glamor magic on your own self. You could wind up manifesting more unnecessary chaos and confusion, enchanting your consciousness to the point of delusion. Spare yourself the heartache. Drawing on the energy of others creates energetic chords that can be difficult to sever. Different cultures and magical traditions have their own sets of morals, ethics, and ways of practicing. I cannot demonize any practice overall, but we all should find the paths that most resonate with us and our beliefs. That being said, if you are seeking magical support for any reason, make sure you are getting your services and information from someone with verified knowledge or lineage training. Be discerning and never engage in something that could be dangerous, especially energetically and psychically.

There are lovers we meet for specific karmic reasons, and certain soul-ties that should be explored for our own growth and learning. No one enters our lives by accident, but it's up to our inner guidance to know which connections are in service to our highest good. Accepting the lessons we learn on the journey, with compassion and understanding for ourselves and others, will make the journey less tumultuous for all. Everything is a lesson, even grief and heartbreak. Sit with your pain and let new portals of understanding open up within you.

Love Magic: Safety First

When seeking a divine union, be specific and intentional with what you are truly desiring. Calm your nervous system, surrender any expectations, and express gratitude. There’s no need to chase after any one person or thing; chasing something will often repel it. All of the energy we pour into others should instead be focused on ourselves, and our own growth. Stay present and grounded in your own magic and life, and love will flow in your favor.

Remember, all forms of magic are about self-empowerment and commanding our blessings into fruition. Think about what is truly in your best interest and highest good. We don’t usually have the answers and perspective necessary, so trust and faith in higher powers is necessary. Trust that any roadblocks are divine intervention in disguise, realigning you towards better opportunities.

There are many ways we can use plants and other natural elements to amplify our own self-love and confidence, and in turn, magnetize loving energy into our lives. Reading books on the journey to divine union — like The Spirit of Intimacy by Sobonfu Somé, All About Love by bell hooks, and The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz — can fortify the mind and spirit; using crystals like Herkimer diamond, garnet, emerald, pink opal, and rose quartz can charge you and your surroundings with loving vibrations. Infusing these tools in our daily rituals can potentiate that energy of attraction. Self-love spells infuse our own energetic field with loving vibrations, drawing our desires toward us. Write it down, speak it out, and let the universe do its magic.

Herbs & Ingredients For Self-Love Rituals


Of all the flowers, roses carry the highest vibrations and directly heal the heart chakra. Roses can be used as tea, in a bath, or burnt as incense to open any barriers blocking the heart center and bring joy into your life. Rose medicine is especially helpful for those suffering from grief, depression, and heartbreak.


A native Mexican herb commonly used as an aphrodisiac, Damiana is the perfect love potion- use it as a tea, yoni steam, or even smoking. It's relaxing to the nervous system while also stimulating the body and spirit for juicy fun times.


Jasmine is a powerful ally for love and manifestation. Drink the flowers as a tea, burn it as an incense, or anoint yourself with the essential oil for drawing in the type of love you desire. Jasmine can also assist us in detangling ourselves from past toxic connections and opening our hearts to new pathways.


Used in many magical traditions to symbolize love and abundance, you can eat and use honey regularly to sweeten your own essence and to draw sweet energy into your life. It’s especially helpful when we’re harsh with our words or experiencing a lack of pleasure in our lives. Eat some honey!


Apples have been used in love spells for centuries, specifically in Jewish and European folk magic traditions. Simple self-love enchantments can be done by eating apples, carving sweet intentions into them, or using them in baths. Mix apples and honey for the ultimate magical self-love treat.