Photos by Jon Kopaloff / Larry Busacca / Jason LaVeris

What Your Favorite Couple Says About You

like a horoscope, but with celebrities!

by leila brillson + gabrielle korn + hayden manders

Admit it: You have a favorite celebrity couple. We see you loving their love. And we're not judging you for it. Well, maybe a little, but it's not a harsh judgement; more like an analysis of your personality based on the Hollywood relationship you obsess over the most. After all, you can tell a lot about a person from the 'ships they stalk. It's like your astrological sign, only the stars aren't in the sky. 

Click through to learn what your favorite couple says about you. 

Oh, okay. We see how it is. Go big or go home. The thing is, this is the ultimate celebrity couple—the one that wants to sell you the whole package while also admitting that it is covered in a big, shiny bow. Picking Jay and Bey means that you are prone to wanting and expecting the best from yourself and other people. Keeping up appearances is important to you because you understand just how powerful a façade may be, and projecting perfection is the first step in achieving it. However, the idea of that Bonnie and Clyde, ride-or-die type of romance gets your heart racing and you expect the same out of your partner. Which is okay, because if they can't handle you at your Sasha Fierce, they don't deserve you at your Beyoncé. 

Once upon a time, your idea of the perfect night involved top-shelf tequila on somebody else's dime. But now, the only thing you want to do with the wild oats you have sewn is put them in a nice porridge with some crème fraîche and a little burnt sugar for a delicious, homemade snack. Your Instagram was once filled with blurry late night selfies and weird confessions of, "I LOVE this dude!" (who was that dude, anyway?), now it is filled with a perfectly curated Restoration Hardware lifestyle. Every now and then you might miss the days of yore when you closed out the bar, but, hey, you have your yoga practice now. (Yeah, it's your "practice.") 

You appreciate sharpness in all its forms—a chiseled jaw, a finely tailored hemline, an expertly cut diamond—but what you don't really care about is mental acuity. You like to let your face do the talking, and so far, that's been just fine with everyone around you. At the end of the day, you're doing them a favor just by existing. In your free time, you work on your posture and practice narrowing your eyes in a way says, "I have a secret." But do you really? No one knows for sure. 

Ellen Degeneres & Portia de RossiWith your infectious warmth, you are often the life of the party, but usually what you really want is to go home and cook a healthy, green meal using eco-friendly kitchen gadgets and then go dance a while. But make no mistake: Just because you're a clean-eating animal-lover doesn't mean you're not a fashion icon in your own right. You just appreciate the good things in life, that's all—whether that's a gorgeous dress, Hollywood's most famous celesbian couple, a catchy song you can jam to, or your sweet, slobbery rescued pitbull, whom you've named Emma Goldman. 

You are a rare bird, my friend. You find love in the most hopeless of places. And on top of that, you make it work. There's no rhyme or reason to your genuinely genuine nature. You're just the definition of pal—a true friend. If your girl needs advice, you're more than willing to drop whatever it is you're working on to help her. If your S.O. has a gallery opening, you're going to be there from beginning to end. Honestly, the world could use a lot more people like you.

Kimye is an institution and, as such, so are you. You've been through some hell, you've said some things that were problematic, and maybe even done some things just because you were horny and felt like it. Can you live? Yes. Yes, you can live. Though, your standard of living is likely higher than most of us plebeians who think the single-stall bathroom at the chapel will do just fine over a golden bathroom tower at our wedding. But you keep on doing you. You live that good life and keep appreciating the finer things like art, Parisian stuff, and long-winded conversations about design. You believe your presence is a present. You are not bound 2 the world, but it is bound 2 you. It can be your oyster, but first, go take that selfie.

Ah, a fan of the deep cuts, are you? With a palette as refined as yours, it is no wonder you would opt for a couple who truly embody your sense of taste and fashion. There is no need to be flashy when you are already the best dressed person in the room, just like there is no need for braggadocio when someone is as accomplished as you are. Your aesthetic considerations stretch into all aspects of life—and you have truly impeccable taste, be it in food, film, or fun. People turn to you as a tastemaker; as you are the purveyor of objects like obscure prog rock records, an aged bourbon no one has heard of, and even antiqued first edition books. It isn't just the result that interests you, but the journey as well.

Oh, you picked Brad and Angelina? We suppose you might pick "good" over "bad" or "pleasure" over "pain," as well. Jay kay; we don't blame you, because Bradgelina clearly descended from Mount Olympus to bless us all with their very poised presence and you are idealistic enough to realize that. Yes, you believe that goodness triumphs over evil, that the weird will inherit the earth, and most importantly, everyone out there can find their one, true soulmate, no matter what they went through to do so. Congratulations—you truly believe in greatness, and that's wonderful, because that means your good deeds will only come back to you sevenfold. A diehard romantic in all aspects of your life...and we wouldn't change a thing.