How to Seduce an Aquarius, The Zodiac’s Chill Rebel

Your complete guide to loving + living with the air sign

As the high-minded idealists of the zodiac, no sign believes in the transcendent power of true love quite like Aquarius. But these quick-witted souls are so easily distracted by their own electric brains and opinions in flux, it’s a real challenge for Aquarians to decide what they want out of love and stick to their standards. Ferociously independent and rebellious anti-conformists, those born under the sign of the Waterbearer are notoriously slow to make hard-and-fast commitments, especially when it comes to giving away their heart. These gregarious and socially agile signs collect friends like nobody’s business; it’s safe to say the typical Aquarian values friendship above romance, inspiring these folks to search for a best friend—one who will respect their freedom and stimulate their bright, curious intellect—in their partners. Once you prove this, the Waterbearer will tiptoe out of a casual connection and into an adventurous, often unpredictably wacky relationship. Get ready for plenty of spice in this partnership—as long as you can keep up, you’re sure to remain entertained, enthralled, constantly learning, and exploring with your Aquarius love. Read on for a thorough guide to understanding, loving, and living with Aquarius, the optimistic, elusive revolutionaries of the zodiac.

Dating & Hooking-Up: The Aquarius Approach

Crushing on Aquarius is to be expected, thanks to their magnetic lack of self-consciousness, worldly intelligence, and popularity. The 11th sign of the zodiac is so unconcerned and unbothered by others’ opinions of their often eccentric lifestyle and quirky personality, everyone’s just got to find out who they are and what they’re all about. There’s rarely any ego or bombast to these gentle personalities; Aquarius doesn’t care much for being worshipped or placed on a pedestal. They simply want to their independent spirit to be respected and allowed to do as they please when they please. So naturally, Waterbearers collect more than a few suitors and admirers for their rebellious, progressive attitude.

Not only is Aquarius an air sign, it’s also ruled by the 11th House of Friendships, which translates to the sign’s priorities generally lying outside of dating and romance, focusing more on their rich intellectual and social lives. In fact, most Aquarians place a higher value on friendship than they do on love and passion. These personalities can go long periods of time without dating, intimacy, or even sex, but they simply cannot survive without a healthy social outlet and plenty of friends. So, these signs wouldn’t ever consider dating anyone who wasn’t a friend—or at least a dear pal—first. You’d think Aquarius’ friendly, detached nature would make them poised for lots of NSA relationships, but that’s not necessarily the case. Since the Waterbearer is a fixed sign, they can be very stubborn and gravitate towards monogamy once they’re hooked. Still, unpredictable Uranus rules Aquarius, so you never know which way the wind is going to blow with this quirky sign!

Are you tuned in and up-to-date on all of the humanitarian and social issues plaguing the globe? You better get familiar with what’s going on; Aquarius’ number-one goal in life is to make the world a better place. In fact, you might’ve met your Aquarius at a protest, rally, or political organizing meeting. Don’t expect a date to take precedence over Aquarius’ agenda to save the world from corruption and evils, so you might as well join the fight and make an outing of it. As the sign of networking and social groups, Waterbearers are constantly surrounded by many different kinds of people, so jealous types aren’t really their cup of tea. You must be comfortable with sharing an Aquarius’ time and attentions with their many, many friends in the dating game—you’ll rarely ever have them completely to yourself at any given time. Sure, there will be plenty of social and political excitement with this sign, but you’ll never be able to “own” their time or attention. Take it or leave it, that’s Aquarius’ chill-rebel vibe.  

One surefire way to know whether or not an Aquarius is into you is by observing their behavior and actions when you’re together. Despite being adrift in a sea of friends, Waterbearers are known for their awkward, abrupt behavior when they’re feeling the romantic vibes, completely losing their social cool and becoming certifiably neurotic. Endearing as this may be, if you’re more of a traditional, conformist type, dislike weirdos, or are easily embarrassed, Aquarius might not be your dream date. In the same breath, Aquarius might strike you as indifferent or unemotional. Don’t let their aloof, spacey nature fool you, though: These personalities can be warm and affectionate, but they’re just simply so ahead of their times they transcend overbearing emotionality.      

Expect to engage in many long conversations about anything and everything when getting to know an Aquarius. This sign likes to ease into their emotional side rather than taking the plunge into passion, and a big part of developing attraction is understanding your mind. Connecting with you on a mental level is far more important than their physical attraction or sexual impulses, and they need to know whether or not you can keep up with their intellectual flexing. They love to jump from random topic to topic—you can never predict what’s going to come out of an Aquarius’ mouth, which leaves some addicted and others exasperated.

Expect to be treated magnanimously if lucky enough to earn their favor. Aquarius can’t help but try to please the object of their affection by pulling out all the stops to let you know they’ve been paying attention to the small details that thrill you. Even when they know they will likely fail at making their point because their references are so minute and random, they’ll still put in all the effort to make an artful appeal to your heart. There’s other no sign in the zodiac whose love language embodies the idea that “it’s the thought that counts.” Aquarius’ heartfelt, loving actions are always remembered down the road if the relationship could become bumpy, renewing your genuine fondness for each other.   

Waterbearers are quite the Pandora’s box of personality. Though the Aquarius-born seem lighthearted and even superficial at times, this is a sign with infinite complex layers making them futuristic visionaries and oddballs. Often, Aquarius is privately convinced that their quirky nature stands in the way of being fully understood by another. At worst, this misconception can drive these folks to settle for less simply to avoid being alone. Aquarius also loves to shock people and diverge from the status quo, so entering into toxic relationships and then abruptly breaking up (multiple times, usually) is a fairly common pastime for these personalities. Burned Waterbearers can be scarred by their past mistakes, too, making them intensely gun-shy about putting down roots with anyone in the future. Though Aquarius should always respect their need for independence, this is one sign that can be set free through relating to others intimately and creating their own inroads to a fun, spirited, unconventional romance. 

Driven By Desire: What Aquarius Wants

In love, Aquarius is preoccupied with finding a best friend in companionship that will keep their curious minds busy and buzzing. Preferably, one who’s as concerned with progressive political and humanitarian issues around the world—someone who they can enjoy adventures and friendly laughter with while sharing similar ideals on making the world a better, safer place for all beings. Communication is extremely important to air sign Aquarius, and enlightened conversation is an aphrodisiac to these personalities. Waterbearers are drawn to intellectuals who can keep up with their ever-flitting minds and mouths, so if you can endlessly churn out talking points that fascinate and educate both of you, you’re well on your way to seducing this sign. Be sure to plug all the activism, charity work, and volunteering you do, too; nothing seals the deal with an Aquarius quite like someone who truly cares enough about hot-button issues to put their money where their mouth is.

Aquarius tends to be very attracted to those who are well-read and well-informed culturally as well as politically, taking almost immediate interest in those who can freely flex their cerebral muscles. However, Aquarius natives detest a know-it-all, firmly believing that one never stops learning through a lifetime. These folks love to travel, so you’ll need to be up for an international jaunt. Waterbearers want someone who knows how infinite the Universe is—someone who will remain curious enough to explore all of its mysteries.

Don’t be shy when it comes to showing off all your smarts with technology and the latest innovations. Ruled by futuristic Uranus, Aquarians are easily enamored by the newest gadgets, smartphones, and software updates and are almost always the first to have them on hand. Because Aquarius views innovation and technology as the true inroad to an easier, more harmonious life, these signs seek those who are equally interested in keeping up to date on advances in science and technology. 

Even as the zodiac’s staunch progressives, an Aquarian would be the first to tell you that life is short, so you might as well enjoy every second of the present. Waterbearers are drawn to sunny, optimistic people who are chatty, can reel in a good yarn, and possess a sharp, entertaining wit. These personalities love an electric smile and are immune to strong eye contact, pulled in like a space-age tractorbeam. Aquarius is intrigued by anyone who can fearlessly jump into a conversation, yet they balk at those who tell their complete life story so soon. They need mystery—someone who will leave just enough to the imagination, someone who will remain a bit of a puzzle or brain-teaser to stoke their curious, probing minds.  

Known as the rebels and nonconformists of the zodiac, Aquarians guard their independence fiercely and appreciate a free-thinking partner who can operate autonomously. Anyone seriously considering locking down this sign must have a life of their own. Many Aquarians actually prefer long-distance relationships because of their need for constant freedom and their attraction to anything that veers from the predictable status quo. Complete and utter honesty is just as important to Waterbearers as their personal freedoms, even if the truth is brash, bold, or harsh. Aquarians are hard to shock or offend, so there’s no need to censor yourself around them. In fact, for some born under this sign, the more out-there your ideas or opinions are, the more interesting you’ll be. Simply respect their slow approach to emotional intimacy—heavy emotions and passions raised too soon will send the Waterbearer running and hiding, despite the valor in your honesty.


Your individual astrological makeup can be found a natal chart, which outlines the positions and aspects of the planets, houses, and signs in the heavens at the exact moment and location of your birth. Everyone’s personality is comprised of all 12 zodiac signs, which makes your sun sign (or “native” sign) less important when looking at the bigger picture. But patterns and statistics don’t lie when it comes to how how astrology informs interpersonal chemistry. Astrologers look to several factors in determining compatibility, including your sun sign, rising sign, and where Venus places in the chart, among many other things. 

Those born with their sun in Aquarius, between January 20 and February 19, as well as those with Aquarius rising, are filled with paradoxes and contradictions when it comes to who they’re compatible with. Hardly a soul doesn’t get along with Aquarius; this sign is at once drawn to those completely different from themselves as well as people who can really keep up with their wacky ways. Sibling air signs like Gemini and Libra appeal to their intellectualism, curiosity and need for a healthy social life while sharing similar views on remaining somewhat detached emotionally. But fire elementals—Aries, Sagittarius, and especially Leo, their ultra-compatible polar-opposite sign—truly stoke their heart’s flame as well as their mind’s intrigue. Since fire needs oxygen (air) to exist, these matches can become somewhat addicted to each other. Fire-Air pairings make beautiful music, staying active physically, travelling and exploring, and constantly learning.  

How to Lose an Aquarius: Turn-Offs

Nothing will make an Aquarius turn cold and indifferent than a companion lacking in excitement. Boring, predictable love that’s rooted in routine is a surefire way to turn-off these quirky, unpredictable air signs. Getting into ruts is absolutely fatal to Aquarius’ relationships, which means these personalities need to constantly introduce fun, adventure, and learning into their lovelives. And though the Aquarian-born aren’t typically moved by looks or superficiality, they will take notice of drab, uniform-esque styles, boring hairdos, and bland colors quicker than average. Articulating their distaste for banality in appearances is unlikely, rather their subconscious will take over and “mark” you as an undesirable in their world. It’s actually so harsh, even they themselves aren’t fully aware of the judgement.

Pushing an Aquarius native to open up immediately or divulge every detail of their life story is a huge no-no, as this sign tends to be somewhat shy. They love to talk and will certainly let you into their life over time, but it must be on their own terms—they must never be rushed or pressured. Not only will they be totally turned off and rebel out of principle (they love doing that), they’ll be intensely irritated with you for imposing expectations on them. Likewise, don’t get too personal or mushy with them too soon; declaring deep feelings is not their cup of tea really at any stage of a relationship. Waterbearers are cool, collected, fairly aloof, and emotionally detached from life, so wildly effusive statements only stand to make them uncomfortable. 

Aquarius is the sign of paradox and contradiction, so timidity or hesitancy is just as big a turn-off as being overly friendly or attempting to get intimate right off the bat. Being standoffish will drive socially conscious, gregarious Aquarius away; they can’t risk being dragged into sitting on the sidelines like some wallflower. Waterbearers are usually extroverted types, so they like those who smile brightly and often while expressing themselves freely and working a room. Friendship-oriented Aquarius will see these behaviors as suspicious and will not risk becoming involved with someone who may not be as loyal a friend as advertised. Do not ever try to outshine an Aquarius’ achievements or take credit for their positive actions. Those born to this sign are somewhat preoccupied with a desire for recognition and appreciation as unusual, exotic creatures and will shun anyone who doesn’t completely adore their uniqueness. 

Getting Down: Sex with Aquarius

Seduction and coitus with an Aquarius can be unpredictable and unconventional—but that’s half the fun, of course. Those born under this sign are free of the shackles of social norms and expectations in all areas of life. So, if an Aquarius is feeling it on the first date, they’re not above taking you home for a romp. And naturally, that attraction will be based on how well you’re matched intellectually and whether or not your wits mesh.

Monotony and mindless routine have no place in the Waterbearer’s boudoir, who shirk tradition in every sense as the zodiac’s natural-born rebels. Aquarians need a lot of variety in their sex lives, and since they’re ruled by Uranus—the planet governing experimentation—they aren’t bashful or frightened about trying tantalizing new methods of lovemaking. And since this sign is turned on by all things technology, they’re also the most likely to jump at the chance to introduce the latest toys into the mix for some super-stimulation. Excitement and enthusiasm are Aquarius’ sexual currency, making it nearly impossible to shock or offend them with your wild ideas and fantasies. Practically anything goes for the most forward-thinking of the 12 signs, and is basically required for a sign notorious for becoming bored, distracted, and losing interest in a flash.

Curiosity drives Aquarius as their number-one motivation, so sex with the Aquarian-born can be fun and lighthearted, but can also be incredibly deep and revealing. Like everything else, sex is just another exploratory activity for Aquarius. It’s a kind of psychic research into what makes their fires burn and a means of getting to know their partners’ inner-workings and deep desires more fully. Sexuality reveals the mysterious relationship between instinct, intuition, and consciousness to Aquarius. Inhibitions don’t stand in the Waterbearer’s way, especially if there’s something that stands to be discovered in wild new positions and settings. Aquarius can become quiet, pensive, or even morose even after the most thrilling ride. Their mind can’t help but wander to the greater meaning of life and all things, universally. 

Aquarius can compartmentalize their sexual feelings from emotional attachment, which is a defense mechanism for catching feelings in more casual relationships. Surprisingly, despite Aquarius’ distaste for tradition and ultra-progressive approach, they’re not very likely to adopt polyamorous ideals permanently or engage in too much “free love.” Sure, they’re the most progressive, future-forward signs known for being aloof and emotionally detached, but Aquarius is also a fixed sign, which gives them a penchant for being more stubborn and poised for monogamy. They become bored easily, yes, but they’re no more likely to wander elsewhere for gratification than more obsessively attached signs. Don’t expect jealousy from Aquarius—this sign competes with no one but themselves, respecting their partners’ independence to move freely and expects the same level of personal autonomy in turn. 

Friends & Enemies

Ruled by the 11th House of Friendships, you can bet that you’ve got a friend in Aquarius if nothing else. Most of Aquarius’ relationships begin with friendship, and those that fail or fizzle out usually end in a friendly manner, too. Social life and connecting with others platonically comes naturally to Waterbearers, who are known for extending their impartial hand in friendship without bias or prejudice. One of the factors motivating this sign to be so friendly is their conviction that they can help everyone. Lucky you! These signs are a whiz with advice and fixing a myriad of problems. And if they can’t fix it themselves, you can bet money that they can connect you to the right person who can. In fact, if they aren’t counseling you or contributing something—anything!—that might make the quality of your existence better every second, they’ll feel like a failed friend.

Aquarius embodies the “live and let live” mentality like no other sign. They simply don’t do enemies and aren’t ones to hold grudges. Waterbearers can let things roll off of their back easily but won’t tolerate betrayal or disloyalty—especially when it comes to gossip or divulging their private information. The quickest way to lose the friendship of an Aquarius is to be two-faced and misrepresent yourself. Still, if you’re on Aquarius’ bad side, they’re more likely to use discourse and balanced conversation to understand the conflict. If you’ve really slipped out of favor, this sign will needle you and ensnare you in your own poor logic with a stunning display of sarcastic verbal gymnastics. Watching an Aquarius excoriate a foe with their words for sport is fantastically entertaining. Yet more often than not, Aquarius will gently and peaceably remove toxic individuals from their lives rather quietly. There’s no need to get worked up and give bad apples attention or energy and Aquarius lives by this rule. 

Relationships & Commitment

Typically, it’s a long road to concrete commitment with an Aquarius, usually with unconventional ends. The exception to Aquarius’ need for drawn-out courtship is rebelling against the status quo—especially their family’s expectations. If an Aquarius is advised to handle their private love life and relationships in a certain manner by their parents or family, rest assured they will do the exact opposite of what’s traditionally desired. This buck against the trends results in their reputations for either never legally getting married to their partners, a taste for eloping, or a pattern of making poor decisions in committing too quickly and a string of traumatic breakups or divorces. As children of Uranus, the planet of surprise, this rebellious streak in their lovelives is to be expected. 

Once Aquarius commits, they take it seriously, not least because every lover and partner must first be a friend. An Aquarius in love is tender, generous, and ever tolerant—these signs aren’t quick to take offense to the small stuff and won’t likely pick fights. Their love of freedom and independence, particularly in their social lives, means that they don’t feel envy or become jealous in their relationships. Aquarius is a reasonable partner that won’t become codependent or clingy and expects the same liberty from their other half. Certainly, this is not a sign prone to emotional outbursts or raging fights, and will give you the benefit of the doubt when it comes to your mistakes and tresspasses. Even better, they typically forget offenses and slip-ups rather quickly and won’t nag or beat a dead horse over past issues. However, these social gadflies won’t be held back to pursue friendship outside of your partnership, and will give as much freedom and respect to your autonomy as they expect to receive. 

Loyal and devoted partners, the Waterbearer still guards their privacy intensely—one must never make an Aquarius feel that their information could be compromised. Or worse, you must never make the Aquarian-born feel trapped by their commitment to you. Smothering an Aquarius is the kiss of death. Absence does indeed make this sign’s heart grow fonder and space will deepen love. Unconventional living arrangements and long-distance relationships are common for Aquarius, and some might even choose to live separately (or at least maintain separate bedrooms) after tying the knot. Since these personalities become bored easily in routine, mixing things up with space and time spent apart is imperative to keeping any long-term relationship alive. 

Waterbearers are avant-garde, wacky, and highly entertaining parents. They’re always hip to the latest books, technologies, music, movies, and even slang. These are the parents who are more friend than authority figure to their offspring, not least because Uranus-ruled Aquarius is the futuristic sign symbolizing eternal youth. Aquarian moms and dads know how to tell a good tale about their own rebellious youth, and likely won’t shelter their kids from the world—especially when it comes to exposing them to art, science, and culture early on. The Aquarian parenting philosophy revolves around the idea of building resilience; the more their children are exposed to, the more equipped they’ll be to navigate life’s many challenges and nuances.

Aquarius’ knack for making friends with everyone sets an incredible example for teaching kids tolerance and ingraining ideals of equality and social justice in their minds practically from birth. Children of Aquarius parents celebrate their unique differences as well as others and innately respect the humanity of all. The Aquarius household often runs with an environmental bent teaching kids responsibility to the planet and their role as global citizens of Earth. Waterbearer parents are also the kind to bring their kids along to protests, political organizing meetings, volunteer work, and charitable causes. Aquarians make up some of the best and most devoted, ethical parents and partners out there—though their one issue will eternally be setting boundaries.