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13 Phoebe Bridgers Lyrics That Deserved To Be Your AIM Away Message

Bring back the '00s!

If there is one thing the current social media landscape is still missing, it's the 2020 version of the AIM away message. What other part of the early 00s internet landscape so effectively captured the wide-eyed newness of being online and melodramatics of formative angst? Your away message was just another part of your outward facing identity. They were your anthems, your current mood, your swirling insides. And let's face it — more often than not they were silly artifacts of now cringe-inducing memories. But that still doesn't invalidate the point that the music lyrics you chose to represent all of that was everything.

So of course, this is where sad music thrived. If one couldn't actually film a music video to our favorite sad song while looking out of the car window while raining, well, there was always the away message. When NYLON began brainstorming which artist we'd be turning to for our AFK message today, there was no one more fitting than Phoebe Bridgers. Indie rock's resident sad song-maker, irreverent jokester, earnest-sarcastic friend — there's no other artist writing quite like her right now.

Below, 13 of her most gut-wrenching, away message-worthy lyrics pulled from 2017's Stranger in the Alps, and her most recent project, Punisher.

01

You are anonymous, I am a concrete wall — "Smoke Signals"

The lyrics you would've used to signal to everyone that you had a crush.

02

And when I grow up, I'm gonna look up from my phone and see my life — "DVD Menu"

I'm choosing not to see the irony behind posting this on the internet.

03

When a machine keeps me alive/ And I'm losing all my hair/ I hope you kiss my rotten head and pull the plug — "Killer"

For the really dark times. Your friends would probably text you if after you posted this.

04

Twenty-five felt like flying — "Kyoto"

This is definitely the message you'd post the day after your 26th birthday.

05

Guess I lied/ I'm a liar/ Who lies/ 'Cause I'm a liar — "Kyoto"

This one is for all the theater kids out there.

06

What if I told you/ I feel like I know you?/ But we never met — "Punisher"

She is talking about Elliot Smith. We are talking about our non-existent future life partners. They're sort of the same.

07

I swear I'm not angry, that's just my face — "Punisher"

The friends list can have a little bit of snark, as a treat.

08

And if I could give you the moon, I would give you the moon — "Moon Song"

This is that one Away message you'd leave on your profile for months at at time. Simple and effective.

09

All the bad dreams that you hide/ Show me yours, I'll show you mine — "Savior Complex"

Big extreme-side-bang-with-blonde-streak-and-Jack-Skeleton-shirt energy.

10

The billboard said "The End Is Near"/ I turned around, there was nothing there/ Yeah, I guess the end is here — "I Know The End"

Yup, seems timely.

11

I've been playing dead my whole life — "I See You"

Suddenly I've been transported to the front of a Hot Topic store.

12

So she picks a direction, it's ninety in Memphis/ Turns up the music so thoughts don't intrude — "Graceland Too"

This is what you'd post after threatening to run away from your parents.

13

Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time - "Funeral"

The perfect away message. Short, sweet, and immediately devastating. Nice.