The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gifts, According To An Astrologer

If cinema is any indicator, Taureans really love a bubble bath: There’s Al Pacino in Scarface, Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette, and Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath — though that was perhaps less of a good time. Prop your lover in their basin of pleasure with this set of sublime, hand-made soaks, infused with fresh ingredients including rosemary, lavender and lemongrass. With titles like Dude Roses, Pirate Queen, and No Bullshit, you’re guaranteed no saccharine flavors or sugary nonsense. Why reinvent the wheel?

Ruled by the mammary glands, Cancer carries the weight of mothering, loving, and nourishing all those they love…often to a degree of suffocating martyrdom. Let them embrace the burden — and the beauty — of their calling with this perfect collaboration from comedian Rachel Sennott and Uncle Inc. Why should the mother of all signs bear it all in silence?

Leos love attention of all kinds, from a stadium of fans to a compliment on the street. Even on the most casual of errands, your Leo desires to be seen and appreciated for their talents, taste, and point of view. Send them off to the gym in these sultry mesh shorts, which will attract admiration from the chicest health goths in the land. They’ll come back to you feeling proud, radiant, and ready to return the love.

Your Virgo may be spending every night at your place, but that doesn’t mean they’re ready to give up their routine and delusion of control. Indulge their neurotic need for order with this delightful weekend bag, which invites a good time while affirming personal boundaries. They can pack their own toothbrush and feel secure about their independence, even if they’re about to spend the next 48 hours in your bed.

For the sign of the social climber and GOOP enthusiast, there’s no better motto than transform your lifestyle. Encourage your lover’s ascent to Stefani-Kardashian status with this medallion, which binds their modus operandi in beautiful runic script. First, this talisman of gold on their necks, to soon be followed by a shimmering kingdom. Show your Libra that you know they’ll go far, and they’ll reward you big time when they’ve secured the bag.

Try as they might, Scorpios can’t help but get into the real, the raw, and the ugly. Embrace full disclosure with this beach towel, which celebrates all manner of anatomical divergences. Why shouldn’t a day at the beach invite taboo-smashing body discourse and moral confrontation? For a Scorpio, there’s no better way to vacation.

If you’re destined to watch your Sagittarius lover roll a joint, pausing to indulge in political conspiracy theories, you’re likely to do a lot of waiting around. If they’re going to spend the evening rambling on about their latest conspiracy theory, you might as well have something pretty to look at. This handmade, one-of-a-kind ashtray creates a kaleidoscopic collage effect, inviting you and your beloved to get out of your heads and back into something beautiful and tangible.

Your Capricorn mate may not be the best at relaxing, but that doesn’t mean they can go without nourishment. For your beloved to keep fighting, clawing and enduring at full Slayer strength, they’ll need all the help they can get. Arm your mate with this tonic of vitality and immune power, imbued with the earth’s eternal life, so that they can live to thrive another day.

In the late 90s, the great Aquarian Grant Morrison created this visionary spy series, which foretold a new century of consciousness, connection and liberation. Your water-bearer soulmate has already accepted their destiny as a rebel and revolutionary; give them this bible as a codex for upending the archons of the state. They’ll have a project and a prized collection for their private library, and you’ll get the credit for stimulating their mind (and possibly saving the world).

With Jupiter in Pisces for most of 2022, the spotlight is on your mate. Give form to their talents and radiance with this Atlantean swimsuit, which cuts a silhouette worthy of Namor, Mera, and the hottest daddy of them all: King Triton. How does it feel to be on the arm of a living fantasy?