The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gifts, According To An Astrologer


The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gifts, According To An Astrologer

Your Valentine’s Day gift guide: astrology edition.

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Unsure of how to spoil your soulmate this Valentine’s Day? As with all great crises in life, the answer is likely written in the stars. Whether your lover is an embodied Leo, a heady Aquarius, or a romantic Pisces, you’re sure to find a fit on our list of midwinter indulgences. We've got you covered on all fronts for the quickly approaching holiday, with a gift guide including everything from clothing and accessories to wellness essentials and literature. But wait! Our suggestions apply not just to your beloved's solar positions, but also to their other crucial birth chart elements — like the moon, Mars, and Venus placements — which all speak to how a person feels nourished, appreciated, and authentically in their bodies. Choose based off their sun sign, their big three, or however you see fit; there's no wrong way to show love. Of course, if your aim is to treat yourself, then absolutely go off. Why not let the cosmos dictate the terms of your much-deserved gratification?

See the 12 best Valentine's Day gifts for every sign of the zodiac, below. And while you're at it, read your February 2022 horoscope to catch up on what the celestial bodies have in store for you for the holiday, and beyond.



Zaddy Earth BATHHOUSE gift pack

If cinema is any indicator, Taureans really love a bubble bath: There’s Al Pacino in Scarface, Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette, and Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath — though that was perhaps less of a good time. Prop your lover in their basin of pleasure with this set of sublime, hand-made soaks, infused with fresh ingredients including rosemary, lavender and lemongrass. With titles like Dude Roses, Pirate Queen, and No Bullshit, you’re guaranteed no saccharine flavors or sugary nonsense. Why reinvent the wheel?



So Exhausted from Carrying Around My Big Heaving Tits Baby Tee

Ruled by the mammary glands, Cancer carries the weight of mothering, loving, and nourishing all those they love…often to a degree of suffocating martyrdom. Let them embrace the burden — and the beauty — of their calling with this perfect collaboration from comedian Rachel Sennott and Uncle Inc. Why should the mother of all signs bear it all in silence?


Gym Shorts

Leos love attention of all kinds, from a stadium of fans to a compliment on the street. Even on the most casual of errands, your Leo desires to be seen and appreciated for their talents, taste, and point of view. Send them off to the gym in these sultry mesh shorts, which will attract admiration from the chicest health goths in the land. They’ll come back to you feeling proud, radiant, and ready to return the love.


Spinnanight Bag

Your Virgo may be spending every night at your place, but that doesn’t mean they’re ready to give up their routine and delusion of control. Indulge their neurotic need for order with this delightful weekend bag, which invites a good time while affirming personal boundaries. They can pack their own toothbrush and feel secure about their independence, even if they’re about to spend the next 48 hours in your bed.


Transform Your Lifestyle Medallion

For the sign of the social climber and GOOP enthusiast, there’s no better motto than transform your lifestyle. Encourage your lover’s ascent to Stefani-Kardashian status with this medallion, which binds their modus operandi in beautiful runic script. First, this talisman of gold on their necks, to soon be followed by a shimmering kingdom. Show your Libra that you know they’ll go far, and they’ll reward you big time when they’ve secured the bag.



Playful Puppies Shard Ashtray

If you’re destined to watch your Sagittarius lover roll a joint, pausing to indulge in political conspiracy theories, you’re likely to do a lot of waiting around. If they’re going to spend the evening rambling on about their latest conspiracy theory, you might as well have something pretty to look at. This handmade, one-of-a-kind ashtray creates a kaleidoscopic collage effect, inviting you and your beloved to get out of your heads and back into something beautiful and tangible.


Apocalypse Luv Potion

Your Capricorn mate may not be the best at relaxing, but that doesn’t mean they can go without nourishment. For your beloved to keep fighting, clawing and enduring at full Slayer strength, they’ll need all the help they can get. Arm your mate with this tonic of vitality and immune power, imbued with the earth’s eternal life, so that they can live to thrive another day.


The Invisibles Omnibus by Grant Morrison

In the late 90s, the great Aquarian Grant Morrison created this visionary spy series, which foretold a new century of consciousness, connection and liberation. Your water-bearer soulmate has already accepted their destiny as a rebel and revolutionary; give them this bible as a codex for upending the archons of the state. They’ll have a project and a prized collection for their private library, and you’ll get the credit for stimulating their mind (and possibly saving the world).


Reflective Neptune Suit

With Jupiter in Pisces for most of 2022, the spotlight is on your mate. Give form to their talents and radiance with this Atlantean swimsuit, which cuts a silhouette worthy of Namor, Mera, and the hottest daddy of them all: King Triton. How does it feel to be on the arm of a living fantasy?

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